The Reason For Grace (Sequel to A Reason To Stay)

Chapter 37

The doors to the church came open just as the congregation was singing the last words to the hymn. Everyone turned back and watched their preacher and Payton enter the church house. She went back to her seat and she could tell that most everyone assumed she had been reprimanded. She didn't care. It didn't matter to her what they all thought. Let them think what they will, she thought, I know the truth. Me and God and the preacher....

Suddenly it all made sense.

She heard the pastor ask everyone to bow their heads for the dismissal prayer and she did so but her ears didn't even hear his first words. Instead her heart was talking to her. She finally understood. She knew how special Grace was. It didn't matter what anyone or even everyone else thought.She knew how special she was. She knew that God loved Grace just the same as everyone else in this building. She remembered her children and Tommy's words. Grace was an angel sent here from Heaven. It didn't matter if anyone else in this building or town or even the entire world knew it. She knew it. She knew that God had given her Grace so that she might be able to save her own soul. She was going to have to learn to forgive, to turn the other cheek, to not render evil for evil. When others said things to her or Grace that were hurtful she would have to learn to say, father forgive them for they know not what they do.... God hadn't DONE something TO Grace to punish Payton.... No, God had MADE Grace the way she was to HELP Payton. He loved her and He wanted her to be a better person, a better mother and wife and a better servant for him.

She smiled, God was so smart! What better way to make someone more Christ-like than to take a piece of their flesh and let it walk around separate from their body and watch as others say and do things, hurtful things, to it.... Yep, God knew just what to do to make Payton realize how very precious her words and actions were....

So as the preacher wrapped up his prayer Payton said a silent one of her own:

"God, I know your listening. I know that without me even saying a word you can hear.... So, I want you to forgive me.  I know its a lot to ask. I know that you haven't dealt with me unjustly. I know and understand now that you perfecting me. I know and understand that Grace is a beautiful blessing and that through her I can learn how to help others. Help me to be able to forgive others who might say things, ignorant, rude, hurtful things...." she sighed as a tear escaped her shut lids, "I want to be like Christ. I want others to see him in me and want to be more like him themselves... I love you God. I love you because you sent your son to save me from this world and you loved me so much you sent me a daughter to save me from myself." she could hear the congregation starting to talk and move around her but she kept her head bowed, unashamed that she was counseling with the Lord God. And so she continued, "Lord, I know now, I know the reason for Grace. So, thank you Lord. Thank you for my Grace. Amen."

She opened her eyes then and smiled. She watched as one person after another came over to gaze at Grace. She could tell that some knew something was different with the child. They stared a little longer or would look to her or Joshua to see if they knew something was not quite normal. But no one said anything out of the way or rude. She could also tell the ones who were uncomfortable with the odd baby. They were very hasty in finding a reason to leave. The ones who affected her the most though, were the ones who noticed and she knew they noticed and yet they took the extra time to hold Grace or kiss her soft cheeks. Or they simply smiled at her and talked. She saw Mrs. Holcomb, the older widow who noticed and then winked at Payton after kissing the baby on the brow. And Mrs. Jenkins, the farmers wife with seven children of her own who took extra time away from her own brood to hold and nestle the sweet baby. Then there was Mr. & Mrs. Boston who were in their mid 40's with no children of their own who went on and on about how beautiful she was and that they would have cherished a baby just like this.