The Reason For Grace (Sequel to A Reason To Stay)

Chapter 29

Payton heard the horses and buggy as it rattled into the yard making an announcement that her family was home. After the scene between herself and Joshua before breakfast she had went to great lengths to make one of his favorite meals. She was sure he would be almost starved after skipping his first meal of the day. She had spent all morning making dumplings. Joshua and Tommy had killed a mess of squirrels the day before and so she had a good portion of meat to put into the dumplings. She had paired it with carrots, snap peas and potatoes. She knew her family would be happy. She went to the window to see for herself that her ears had not been playing tricks on her.

Payton nodded her head, she had been correct, her family was home. She went into the sitting room and scooped Grace up from the floor. She carried the babe out to the porch to greet the children, Joshua and Doris, as Doris usually took her Sunday meal with the family. Payton wasn't surprised that Joshua had drove the buggy into the barn to unharness the horses. He liked to keep the buggy in the barn out of the weather when possible and it was simply easier to pull it inside with the horses than by himself.

Payton was surprised however when Doris and the children came out of the barn and started toward her cabin. Payton waved to them and they did wave back. Nate tried to run to her but Doris grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him to her cabin as she pushed the older two forward. Payton stepped down to the first step of the porch and then the next. She couldn't understand what Doris was up to....

Suddenly it hit her. She and Joshua had argued this morning and now Doris was carting the children off to her cabin. Joshua was still upset with her... She couldn't imagine what he must think of her... Would he ask her to leave? No, there were the children to think of... No he would never ask her to leave but he might insist she confess to him and she would not do that... So where would that leave them? Payton wasn't sure weather to go to the barn and confront Joshua or wait for him to come to the house... She let her fear get the better of her and practically ran back inside. She walked from one room to the next bouncing Grace and singing to her waiting for Joshua to come in. It seemed like it was taking him hours to come in. She wasn't sure if it were a good sign or not. What if he chose to leave her... She couldn't let him leave... She hadn't told him she loved him this morning and what if he thought she didn't love him anymore? What if that was why Doris had taken the children to her cabin. She hadn't even looked at Payton, not really. Joshua was going to come and tell her he was leaving..... Would he really leave them? Would he really leave the children? Would he really leave her? Could he leave her?... Panic started to choke her and she wasn't sure what to do. She looked down at Grace not sure weather to lay the baby down and run to the barn or to take her with her. Either way she couldn't wait a minute longer for Joshua to come in. She had to stop him. She couldn't loose him. Not because he thought she didn't care..............

Joshua waited until Doris and the children were out of the barn before he started to unharness the horses. He hadn't really had time to think over what he was going to say to Payton but now that it was time he knew he couldn't just storm in the house and demand she tell him what Gertrude Banks had said to her and if that was her reasons for skipping church... He knew he needed God's guidance and he needed to make sure he was soft spoken. He wasn't sure he had dealt well with her this morning and it might add to their troubles if he barged in the house and started repeating what that woman had said to him... No he needed a little time to seek God's counsel on this one. So as he unharnessed the horses he talked to God.

"Lord, I know You know what we have been dealing with since Grace was born. I love her God. I only see a perfect little miracle when I look at her." His voice cracked as he thought about his precious daughter, "God, I want to do whatever I can that is best for Grace and whatever is best for Payton. I just don't know how to help Payton Lord, but, I know that keeping Grace here away from the world is not what is best for her. And Payton staying home and not attending services is NOT what is best for HER.... God I need your help. I can't do this alone. This is to big for me... I'm just one man and a simple man at that. I don't understand a lot of things, God, but I do understand your word. I understand your spirit and I understand your love. I know that you love Payton and I know that you love me. I know that you sent us Grace for a reason and God I want to help Payton to see that but I'm not sure I know how.... God I don't even know if Payton's eyes are open to see that Grace is different.... Lord please help me... Show me what to do, use my mouth, Lord. Help me to only speak the words you give me and nothing more.... I don't want to push her away.... Pleas Lord..." Joshua had finished with the horses and the buggy sat idle now. He had nothing more keeping him in the barn and he knew it was time to face Payton....