Alive || Muke

Huit

three months later (read chapter seven before this in case you only got one notification)

|| HE HAS TRIED TO BE TRUE TO THE MOMENT; IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF BEING TRUE TO THE SELF? ||

for the past three months, i have had to spend most my days with the brat. all she does is want things and i began to lose my patience. every time i take her out, i try so hard to try to like her, to act like she meant the smallest thing to me; i even tried to convince myself that one day, but it just didn't work. i could not love her the way she wanted me to, the way our parents wanted me to. of course, in front of our parents, i acted like i cared for her and was sweet to her. once they left the room, i wasn't as nice or friendly, but i was still nice enough for my mother.

she and i were now in her room watching a film. we layed so our feet were by her pillows and our heads were on the end of the bed. the movie was playing though she was trying to get my attention. she's subtly touch me and try to move closer to me, but i payed no attention to her. i kept my eyes on the movie even though i could care less about what was going on; i just needed an excuse to not pay attention to her.

"Lukey." She held the 'y'. I mentally cringed at the nickname. I hummed in response, showing her that I was listening, even if I didn't want to. heavens knows what she wants now. "i'm horny." she whined.

i quickly looked away from the tv and to her. my eyes were widened. i had didn't know what to do at all and i most definitely did not want to lose anything else to this woman. i shifted my position so i was no sitting with my legs crossed.

"what am i meant to do?" i asked. i was hoping she wouldn't say she wanted it mainly because girls and what girls have freak me out. boobs were just disgusting and vaginas looked so ugly that i want to cry at the thought of it. i wanted nothing to do with a girl.

"i have an idea," she replied, smirking. just by her facial expression, i could tell this was going to end up horrible for me. she moved from her position onto my lap, wrapping her legs around my waist. she captured my lips with hers, moving her lips against mine.

my head was spinning and i felt like i could not breathe. i didn't want this at all but i couldn't let hera break michael. michaelmichaelmichael; that was all i ever thought about. he was so perfect in every single way. the way i pictured him to be, and the way i had pictured him to act beyond perfect. he didn't have a single flaw and i just wished it was him who was on my lap kissing me rather than this pathetic girl.

i placed my arm on her chest, pulling away from her. "don't you think we're moving a little too fast?" i asked. i hoped she would say yes and stop there

"it's been three months, luke. we're not going fast at all. plus, our parents are already planning our wedding, so we're going to have to do it anyway," she replied in a 'duh' tone. the thought of marrying her made my stomach twist and turn in many wrong ways. to live with someone like her for the rest of my life made me want to puke. "don't be shy, luke, here --" she said cutting herself off by taking her shirt off, exposing her chest. she wasn't wearing a bra and my only thoughts were ewewew. she took my hand and placed it on her breast. "see, baby. it's fine." she smiles. i puke a little on the inside.

she moved her hands from mine and wrapped her arms around my neck, placing her lips on mine. i kept my hands were they were because i wasn't exactly sure of what to do. she moved her hips against mine and moans. i want to pretend that i like this, but i can't bring myself to it. everything about this felt so wrong and so disgusting. her touch, her lips, her body was all so wrong.

i wanted to stop, to tell her to stop, but she'll tell my mother and that could not happen so i deal with it for a boy. a boy who could never love me back because he was not even alive.

- - -

double update, love me. They did indeed do the do

For real smut, check out @thelames it's a boyxboy smut book written by some lame asses (except me i'm rad)

This book should be finished in the next two-three days so there'll be double/triple updates :D