Best Friends

Telling Ed

Now I had to figure out how to go about telling Ed. I couldn't just call him up and be like, "Hey, I broke up with Shawn so we can date now." I still didn't even know if he would talk to me. If he wouldn't, I would be the biggest idiot in the world. Something I probably deserved.

I typed out texts so many times to send him, but I always chickened out. I had never been nervous to talk to him before. I kind of wanted to just wait around until he contacted me, but that could be months. I mean, if ever. For all I knew he had deleted my number and found a girlfriend. But I didn't break it off with Shawn to not do anything. This was an issue in my life with or without Shawn and I had to figure it out and deal with whatever happened. It wasn't going to just go away.

I decided to go about it as casually as I could. To let him know I came in peace and wanted everything to be okay between us. Which I did, whether we ended up dating or not. I hated things being weird with us. It felt like, unnatural that we hadn't talked in over a week. I didn't feel like myself without him in my life. Even for that short amount of time.

So I texted him saying that I hoped he was well and that I'd love to grab a beer with him if he was in town and had any free time. I was so nervous waiting for a response that I started taking shots alone in my apartment while I paced back and forth. I kept looking around, trying to find something that would keep me busy and distracted. My phone dinged less than an hour later. I rushed to grab it.

A wave of relief came over me when I read his response. He asked me if I was free that night and said he could meet me at this little hole in the wall bar that we both liked. I lucked out big time that he not only answered me but actually wanted to see me. We agreed on a time and I called a cab to take me there since I had been drinking and was definitely going to drink more. Plus, I didn't want to have to leave my car at the bar overnight if I ended up going back to his place. Wishful thinking, I know. But just in case.

When I got there, he didn't hug me or anything. He was still standoffish and it made things tense. It was uncomfortable, so I drank way more than I had planned to in a short amount of time. We made small talk that felt forced and I realized I had gotten too drunk to have a serious conversation with him. There was no way he would take me seriously if I was sloppy and slurring my words. I decided that since I was confident and bold from the booze, I would just show him that I wanted to be with him instead.

As we left, he asked me if I wanted to share a cab. He hadn't driven himself there either. I eagerly agreed, thinking he was inviting me back to his penthouse. Once we were both in the backseat of the car, I scooted over right next to him and put my hand on his leg. He looked down at my hand and then looked to me in question. I gave him an evil grin and started moving my hand up towards his crotch.

"Sam..what're you doing?"

I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his face into mine so I could kiss him. I wasn't gentle or shy about it either. But for some reason he wasn't really kissing me back. So I climbed onto his lap and straddled him. I held his face in between my hands and kept urgently kissing him, willing him to kiss me back. He kept moving his face away from mine.

"Sam, you're drunk. Stop. What about Shawn?"

I shook my head quickly, "No, I broke up with Shawn." I went in for another kiss but he wasn't having it.

"What?? What happened??"

I ignored his question and started kissing the side of his neck. I made my way up to his earlobe and gently bit it before sucking on it. And then I found his sweet spot right below his ear. When my lips connected with his skin he moved his head to the other side to give me better access. He let out a barely audible moan, but I heard it. I wanted him to moan louder or react in some way, so I started to lightly nibble and suck harder on the flesh.