The hands of time

Letter 9

August 1986

Tom, I don't know what to say. The doctors gave me a treatment that's beginning to work. I'm healing. My memory is healing. The first couple of months I rejected all food and all my medicines. My medicines show me a reality I don't want to live Tom. The more I take them the faster my memory floods in. It's been years since I wrote. They read my last letter and I went crazy. They told me I'm hallucinating things that are not real. Tom, I remember my dad and I remember my mom. When I lived with my mom I suffered traumatic brain injuries. My dad didn't help. My dad gave me to one of his good pals. I was raped at 14 years old by his good pal. I resented my dad.  I was trapped in a concept that mom was lying when she said dad didn't want me. My dad was an alcoholic until I told him what his good pals did to me. I was raped more than once while he was kicking the bottle. My brain trauma enhanced after being raped repeatedly. I began suffering severe depression. I remember meeting you. I remember you saving me when one of dad's good pals left me on the curb after finishing his deed. You told me outside of road 431 right by the liquor store that "they are treating you like a dog and your taking it. At least run or something? My dad beats on me everyday but do you see me waiting around for another hit". You picked me off the ground and we ran away together. Later on, dad became a recovering alcoholic and he thought his good pals killed me or sold me. My dad finally gained his sanity and killed his best friend Butcher and Buck. To be honest his friends were scum rednecks. My dads friends were awful people with god awful names. Dad went to jail for years and I don't know if he ever got out. I remember seeing my dad plastered on every corner of the road and you told me to look away. You helped me leave my past behind me and honestly I think you did that for yourself as well. Tom, you honestly saved my life and I don't know I could forget it. I remember every detail of us running around footloose on the streets to us going to the beaches to watch the sunset. You went through a difficult journey and the crazy part was the city was our safe haven. My parents were horrible people but having you makes the pain go away.Hazel is no where to be found. Anytime I remember something I'll make sure to jot it down for you. I understand now that you have a duty to this country. You saved me and I thank you for that Tom. I love you. I assume the ring on my hand means we're married and I can't say the words to express the love I have for you.

I'll write soon. <3
                                                                     Emily <3