Mr.Popular//Jkxbts

Kai?

After I left the boys on the school rooftop I texted my friends to meet me at the park.

It was hard but I finally confessed everything including what happened between me and the others.

"So......you like them? But you are also getting married?" J.Seph asked. Non of them can look me in the eye. I don't blame them it's a lot to process.

"Yeah..... I'm sorry I didn't tell you....and I'm sorry I disappeared this summer. I've been going through a lot and I didn't know how to ask for help. Please don't hate me." I finished as big tears started to stream down my face.

"We could never hate you.....and we understand why you didn't tell us sooner." Somin answered as she came over and gave me a big hug.

"We are here for you." Jiwoo smiled as she joined in the hug. J.Seph came over and hugged us all.

I got out of the hug and walked over to BM. "Mathew?"

"Do you have any feelings left for me?" My eyes went wide and my heart stopped.

"Matt.....you......you are....you're the one who didn't want to come out." I whispered. Our friends don't know about his secret. He was ashamed of himself.... his father is a huge homophobe always bashing on gay people.

"You didn't answer my question." He stated still not looking at me. Our other friends walked away a minute ago to give us some time to talk alone.

"Mathew of course I have feelings for you......you were also my first....but you turned me down. You wanted to still be straight to everyone else. I wasn't granted that....so of course we did what you wanted. Every time you hugged me or pulled me on your lap you made me go crazy with feelings. Feelings that my best friend didn't see me as anything else but a friend....a friend that he hooked up with from time to time!" I didn't mean to yell but I was angry....no I was fuming.

"Kookie...I.."

"Save it...you can't because of your father...you can't because of society. You told me this stuff before. I don't get it. Now that I tell you I'm being forced to marry someone you want to know if I still have feelings for you?!" I tried to quickly wipe my tears away but they kept falling. "Maybe if you accepted me then we wouldn't be where we are now....    Listen Mathew I didn't tell you guys this so we could go over the past. I told the truth so we could start saying goo-"

I was cut off when his lips attached to mine. My heart was pounding as he held me closer to him. This was the first time he has kissed me in public let alone with our friends nearby who was most likely watching the scene.

He pulled away and smiled. "You always look like a cute deer when you are surprised." I could feel my cheeks getting so hot.

"Mathew......I love you.....but we can't. I can't with you....I can't with the others....I'm promised to another. That's why I left this summer....so I could do what I wanted no regrets."

"Please.....I'll come out.....I'll tell my father! Just don't marry whoever it is." Honestly when we were younger before he came out to me I always saw myself marrying someone like Somin, Jiwoo, J.Seph, or Mathew our Big Mathew my BM.

"How will you get to college? He will disown you. Do you know the real reason I would turn everyone down and reject their attempts to ask me out?" He shook his head no. "It's because I always hoped you would take my hand and be public with me... but everything you did was as a friend. I've been hurting for years because we were only friends that occasionally had sex when you wanted to. I love you Mathew but I felt used." I've been keeping this in for years it felt so great finally getting this off my chest.

"Koo-"

"Mathew! Stop! I'm getting married in 2 months! I don't want to spend my last two months fighting! Please.....can we just go back to normal?"