The Cheerleader's Side Piece

Why?(5)

Stack after stack.

Bang over bang.

My hands were tomato red, sore from rubbing against papers and holding pens.

My head was aching, pounding from the lack of water and food intake.

Moving from one side of the room to the other, I huff and puff, picking up the heaviest boxes. My lower back was beginning to hurt the most, feeling as if I had pulled a muscle or something.

Hours had passed, yet I hadn't paid any attention to it. The sun had already set, no one but the cleaning crew was on the campus. Maybe I was hypnotized by the mess... maybe it was the stress that had built up in me that screamed at me to fix this. Maybe it was my head just tired and malfunctioning. What it was, it pushed me to pick up more, scratch off the names from the list and organize. The room was coming together, becoming normal looking. The mess was vanishing.... the clutter evaporating.

The door to the shed was tossed open, apparently it was raining outside. Arms pulled me away from the boxes and it took me a couple seconds to recognize it was my mother, soaked. Shaking like a cold puppy, she crushed me into a hug, sobbing, "What the hell are you doing here? Do you know how scared your father and I were when we came home and didn't see you! Why didn't you answer your phone? Why are you even here Antonia? What are you even doing?"

"I'm sorry," I muttered, feeling my body become heavy and weak, "I... I lost track of time... it can't be that late."

"Antonia?" She clutched my face, her eyes running over me, "Antonia, what's wrong? What's going on honey?"

"Nothing," I placed my hand on her shoulder, resting myself against her, "I'm just so tired."

"Honey... what's going on?"

I fell asleep.

~

Sitting up in my bed, I hold the wet towel in my hand. I woke up to the towel laid on my forehead, which left this puddle on my pillow. Setting it on my nightstand and getting onto my feet, I see a letter left from my mom;

Antonia, I've made you some soup and left some medicine downstairs for you. I called the school and told them you wouldn't be attending today, so RELAX. Lay down and rest. When I get home I better not see you doing work. I'll try to get off early.

I love you baby

Putting it back on the nightstand, I grab my blanket and go downstairs to eat and take medicine. Not interested in work nor watching T.V., I just eat and go to sleep. Waking up about an hour later, I huffed from boredom. How many naps can I take before I lose my mind? The loud clicking of the clock from the corner of the room was the only noise in the whole house. For a while I just laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

Replaying Cassie.

The marks were still very visible but there were scabs over the bite marks. Touching the places over my clothes, I close my eyes and remember. The fear I felt that night... the pain. My body was starting to shake. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I could her finger tips... feel her teeth and forcefulness. But what kept popping into my mind was her face; her terrifying face. The anger, the paranoia and pain stretched across my mind. Not once did she show enjoyment, just anger. It was as if she was more angry with herself than with me.

My hands finally fell beside my body, my eyes wide open. The tears stopped running down and my thoughts went blank for a moment. I knew what happened was wrong, that there was something extremely bad and horrible that had happened, but another side of me wanted to know why. Why was she so aggressive and so violent? I wanted to pull her into my chest and ask her what is wrong, ask what was buried so deep within her heart.

What was hurting her so much in that moment that she felt like the only way the pain would stop was by hurting me?