Shadows || A Severus Snape Fanfiction

Chapter 22 - Breaking Point

"Winters," Snape began slowly, "what-"

"Please just pretend I'm not here," Asha interrupted. Her voice was strong and emotionless but failed to cover up her tiredness.

Frowning heavily, Severus said nothing. His dark eyes followed Asha closely as she sank into a chair in the back corner. She dropped her bag onto the desk and lay her head on it like a pillow. Severus could no longer see her face but he could sense the tension in her body. He opened his mouth to speak but Asha beat him to it.

"Don't," she cut him off sharply, willing him to understand that she was only there to seek refuge. After a minute or so, she heard the rustling of paper and the scratching of quill on parchment. Mercifully, Snape had returned to marking homework.

In the week following, Asha returned to the classroom during lunch break a few more times. She and Snape had reached an unspoken agreement that she could have an hour's respite while he refrained from asking questions, or even acknowledging her presence. Though they didn't interact, Asha quietly appreciated his strong, calming presence.

Unfortunately, this arrangement did not last long. Asha's thoughts were becoming cloudy and disconnected and brewing potions soon became impossible. During Snape's classes, she could hardly concentrate long enough to read the instructions. Every lesson she was forced to restart multiple times and ran out of time to finish. On a Monday afternoon, she found herself so frustrated and defeated that she vanished the contents of her cauldron, picked up her bag and walked straight out of the classroom. Snape came billowing after her and grabbed her arm.

"Why do I have to keep reminding you that you are not above the rules?" he hissed angrily.

Asha wrenched herself from his grip and continued walking.

"Such insolence is not tolerated in this school, no matter the circumstances!" he called after her, "Detention this evening, Winters!"

Asha did not attend. In fact, that was the last time she graced the potions class with her presence. From then on, she added Snape to the long list of people she was avoiding. She began to spend most of her waking hours skipping classes and hunkering down on the icy shores of the Black Lake.

After a week of truancy, missing multiple meals and avoiding talking to anyone, Asha found herself bent over the bathroom sink. She knew she would not be able to continue like this. The professors would catch up to her eventually. She would be expelled. But nor could she pull herself together. Her mind was constantly swimming. Why was she plagued by unmemorable nightmares? Why did she have knowledge she had never obtained? Why could she uncontrollably perform powerful wandless magic? How could she be a Parselmouth? Why did she feel so fucked up? What was WRONG with her?

Shaking with emotion, Asha looked into the bathroom mirror. Apart from the dark shadows that circled her eyes, her skin was ghostly white. For the millionth time, she thought of the mysterious scar on her back. Confusion and hopelessness seared through her. All she craved was to escape from this hell that was writhing inside her. She needed a drink.

Immediately she thought of Hagrid's cellar, but she had already broken into it last night and found no Firewhisky. In desperation, she suddenly remembered the passageway between Honeydukes and Hogwarts that Filch had led her down after finding her in the Three Broomsticks. Surely she would be able to break past the statue of the one-eyed Witch without a password.

It was the middle of first period, so Asha jogged silently down the empty corridors until she arrived at the statue. She stood there for what seemed like an hour attempting every unlocking and enchantment-disintegrating spell she knew. Just as distress threatened to overwhelm her, a voice sounded from just over her shoulder.