Black Rose | Completed

Chapter Eleven

Elliot's Pov

I stood in front of my house door and grabbed my keys out of my bag. Tyler persisted that he would drop me off at home even though I could take the bus home. He refused and his mother did as well. At the end he dropped me off at home and asked me whether or not I wanted to sleep over.

I knew why he asked but I had to face her even if I didn't want to. He told me to call him once I had gotten to my room. I opened the house door to find bottles of beer on the ground, the lights were off, and the halls were dark. After cleaning the entire week she still managed to make a mess within two hours.

I walked over the bottles and walked further down the hall. The house that I lived in was neither small, nor big. The only reason why we could even afford this house is because of the money we got for my father's death. I didn't want to spend the money but I had no choice but to. I have two jobs and going to college wasn't going to be any easier for me.

I heard the faint noises coming from the living room and I took a turn to see her sitting there on the couch with another beer bottle in her hand. Her hair was ruffled, the stench coming off of her could be smelled from miles away. The bottles were surrounding her feet and the cigarettes were cluttered on the floor. 

I stood there for a minute and she finally looked at me. With the same look that she has given me my entire life. Her lifeless eyes met mine, she looked tired as if she hasn't slept in days. I wanted to ask her where she was, where she went the past couple of days but I already knew her answer. It was nothing. She'd sit there and look at me and say nothing as if she was deaf. I learned not to ask her anything because I knew she wasn't going to tell me anything. I didn't expect anything less.

Although she doesn't care about me she still is my mother.

Ever since my father's death she has neglected not only me but also my older brother and sister. I've never heard her utter a single word since that day, it has been eight years. She has gone to rehab twice now so it was just me most of the time.

My older sister left us, when I was around ten she was eighteen years old. I remember me running after her telling her not to leave me but she did. I asked her to take me with her but she didn't. She pushed me off her leg, making me fall down lifelessly. I watched her walk away from me just like my other older brother did when I was twelve.

This time I didn't run after him. I stood there and watched him pack his bags in front of me. I walked behind him and down the stairs and watched him walk out of the house. He did something different, he told me he'd visit me every friday, and I remember smiling that day. It was the first time I had smiled in a long time.

I remember waiting each and every Friday, cancelling all my plans with Ty hoping that maybe he'd come by. I didn't want to not be there when my brother would come, but he never came. After waiting every Friday for the year I found myself not waiting for him anymore.

I never let any of that affect me. I took everything that has happened in my life positively. That's what dad would always tell me, he'd tell me to smile, and walk by every single problem you have in life. That's what I did but no matter how much I want to, I can't. I've accepted it but even  my acceptance isn't enough.

The pills, electroshock therapy, and groups weren't enough for me until I met Rose. I found myself getting better.

I had hope.

I layed down on my bed, lifelessly, just like my father did against his chair. The same chair where he'd read stories out loud to me while I'd sit on his lap and listen to him. I remember watching the blood drop down from his skin with his eyes staring at the ceiling above him. The night I thought would be filled with happiness and the sounds of laughter was filled with the sound of me screaming and crying.

I stared at the ceiling above and thought what life would be like if it were filled with happiness.