rough draft || z.m

24.0

Dedicated to @maanonsen and @dirtbagstyles

Love you ladies xoxo

ZAYN.

Outside my window, I watched the snow fall heavily and silently. Covering the busy city in a peaceful blanket of snow. Christmas time in New York really was incredible. I wasn’t one to admit it, but I quite liked it. The thing I didn’t like though, Rosie be gone all bloody day. She’d made it clear this season was a big one for the magazine. Lots to do, lots of stories to cover…she’d been annoyingly busy. I wanted to be selfish with her. I wanted spend our days in bed, in the safety of our flats. But there was also something cool about how she’d come home all frazzled from work, I’d manage to get her mind off of it for a little while, then we’d settle in for the night. Since Thanksgiving, things have just gotten better and better with us. Our relationship was strong, we were in love. Of course, there were the looming upcoming events for One Direction. Christmas specials. New album promos. Tour rehearsals. We’d be here in the city for a week or so, but then it was off to London and LA and truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to it. I did miss the lads though, that was one good thing that would come of it. I missed them a lot. All my time had been spent with Rosie. My phone began ringing, knocking me out of the zone I’d been entranced in. I picked it up without even looking, thinking that if it wasn’t Rosie, it was either my mum or one of the boys.

“Ello?”

“Zayn?” I almost dropped it, her voice sounding more like nails on a chalkboard than anything else.

“What—what do you want?”

“I—where are you?”

“Perrie, why are you calling me?”

“I need to talk to you, Z. I need you so badly right now.” Her voice was broken and I could tell she was crying. It took everything in me not to snap at her.

“Are you okay?”

“No…I—I need to see you. I’m flying back home in a bit so can I see you when I get in?”

“I’m not in London.”

“At your mum’s?”

“No-no…I’m, uh, I’m in New York.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah.”

“That’s where I am…Zayn…oh please, will you come see me? I need you so badly…everything—it’s all wrong.” Her brokenness scared me. I’d only heard her like this once before and she was quite unstable.

“Oh—okay. Where are you.” She rambled off the name of the hotel she was at and I grabbed my coat, hat and gloves before hurrying out of the flat, expecting the worst.

•  • •

She looked awful. Heavy, dark bags under her makeup-less eyes, hair a wiry, unruly mess. She certainly didn’t look like Perrie. “What’s going on, Perrie?”

“I’ve been…I’ve been thinking about it again, Zayn.” I groaned. This is why I came, I knew it was going to be about this.

“Why?”

“Everything is just so wrong, I lost you…I lost everything. I just—Zayn, you’re the only one who makes it okay. You’re the only person in my life who can fix me.”

“Perrie, I can’t fix you. You have to fix yourself.”

“No, no…you can fix me, I know you can—please, just—I need you to forgive me, Zayn, I’m begging you to take me back. We can work through our problems, I’ll never cheat again—I’ll love you, I never stopped loving you, Zayn!” My head was spinning. This—this wasn’t at all what I was expecting. Fück.

“That’s not happening, Perrie. I’m sorry, but that just isn’t happening. You need to get a hold of yourself. I’ll call Jonnie, he’ll come and get you things will be fine. But I can’t ever take you back.”

“Why not?” Tears were falling heavily down her pale face.

“I’m—I’m seeing somebody. I’m in love with her, Perrie.”

“No…” She shook her head, body trembling.

“She’s everything to me, Perrie. I’m sorry, but I can’t ever love you again.”

“No, Zayn…no, please…” The thing that scared me most about her was her condition. It all hit me and I momentarily froze up.

“Have you…have you been taking your medication?”

“I can’t—I hate it! It makes me crazy.”

“It makes you sane, Perrie!” I couldn’t help but raise my voice.

“I’m not crazy!” She screamed back.

“No, you’re Bipolar!”

“Who is she?”

“I’m not telling you that.”

“WHO IS SHE!” Her veins popped out as she screamed bloody murder, which caused me to flinch. 

“You—you need your medication. I’m calling Jonnie and he’s going to come here and take care of you.” I turned away from her pulling out my phone, just as I dialed her brother’s number, a loud pop rang out and I was falling to the floor as the world around me became black.