Too far gone (Harry Potter)

Chapter 11

Harry's POV:

It was close to the end of the year an my anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts were at an all time high. I'd never felt so blatantly alone or numb. I felt as if I'd never be happy again, like a dementor was happily sucking away on my soul.

Luna seemed to be attached at my hip, I knew deep down that she had seen my fate and from her reaction it couldn't of been good. I aloud her to stick with me as she understood me better than anyone else. She didn't just demand I stop it like most people but she knew it was ME who had to WANT to stop myself, which we both knew I had no intention of doing.

——skip——-

"Hey Luna." I sighed, sitting with the dreamy eyed girl by the black lake.

"Hey Harry." She replied in her soft tone.

"It's getting worse as the days go by..."

She leant over and hugged me tightly, tears were actually streaming down her face.

"It will be over soon big bro...as much as I wish it wasn't, I know that it's the only way." She sobbed.

"I'm sorry little sis...I'm such a bad brother, I wish I could stop but I just can't. It's not that I can't honestly...it's that I won't."

She nodded into my chest in understanding.

"How much longer until....you know." I asked carefully, not wanting to upset my honorary baby sister.

"Let's just day, you will know when the times right."

Now before any of you comment saying that Luna is literally telling him it's fine to kill himself, let me make this clear SHE IS NOT!

She knows that it is his fate and she isn't aloud to change it! She is a seer so she can see glimpses of the future and his fate just so happened to be shown to her. The only thing she can do is be there for him before it happens. It's too late to stop him now.

Thanks, back to reading!!

"Ok Luna..." I sighed.

We got up off the grass and headed inside for dinner.

——skip——-

It was happening again, I had just woken up at roughly 3am after a nightmare. I needed to cut very badly, so I grabbed the closest thing to me that was sharp enough and without looking at the item, I slashed at my wrists deeply.

I stumbled into the bathroom, with bloodied wrists, and turned on the light. I looked down at my wrists and realised that it was very deep cuts. It was definitely enough to kill me.

That sent me off in another panic, my breathing became shallow and fast, my vision blurred as tears filled my eyes, some making their way down my cheeks.

After about 12 minutes I felt slightly better and managed to stand up, only to slump right back down to my knees again as dizziness kicked in.

Oh right....blood loss.

I ripped off my shirt and pulled it into two large slips to tie around my wrist to stop the flow of scarlet liquid spilling out of the wounds.

Only then did I realise what the object was.

The mirror shard.

The mirror shard with the monitoring spell on.

OH SHIT...SIRIUS AND REMUS

I darted back to my bed and grabbed the hot mirror (it heats up when someone calls) and answered it.

I drew the curtains closed as not to disturb the others with the likely loud conversation (the curtains have silencing charms on).

"PUP! What happened?! Are you ok?! The alerts starting going off like mad, waking us up!" Sirius said frantically.

"I-Im fine...well I am now.." I chose not to lie as they'd see through it easily.

"What happened?" Remus' voice flooded through as he came into sight beside Sirius.

"Nightmare...panic attack." I mumbled, head in my hands.

"Oh cub..." he said sadly.

"I'm fine now." I stated.

"Are you sure? Please go to Madame Pomphrey now. I will floo call her in the morning to make sure you did." Remus said.

I sighed but nodded nevertheless.

"Alright, well goodnight cub, call us if you need us. We don't care whether we have to stay up the entire night talking, if that's what it takes ok?" Remus said.

"Yeah alright...g'night Siri, Remy."

"Night puppy." Sirius said.

I put the mirror down and grudgingly strode down to the infirmary right acquire a blood replenishing potion and some gauze for the cuts.

——-skip——

Poppy kept me in the wing for the night and aloud me to leave in the morning. Ron asked me where I was I just mumbled 'with poppy'.

I sat down at the lion table, surrounded by people but feeling so alone.

I just wanted it over, to be at peace and no feel so in pain. It was quite tragic really, how the only way for me to be at peace was to be dead. I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was almost my time to depart the land of the living.

End of chapter

-B