Too far gone (Harry Potter)

Chapter 9

Harry's POV:

After Sirius and Remus told the others one of my biggest secrets, me self harming, I barely spoke to them. I felt angry and betrayed.

The others had been treating me as if I were made of glass, except the twins who were trying to act normal. I was grateful for them but they still weren't the same as always, you could see the concern in their eyes. I continued to smoke when nobody else was around, even though it wasn't drugs, I don't think they'd be pleased.

I had managed to sneak out in the middle of the night, without waking anyone and sneak onto the knight bus so I could meet my muggle friends. They all said that I had a right to feel betrayed and sold me more alcohol and drugs. But I was saving it for school where I had a feeling I'd be needing it.

"Harry?" I heard Hermione call.

I grumbled irritatedly and walked into her and Ginnys room.

"Yes Hermione." I sighed, trying not to snap at her.

"Have you packer everything?"

I just stared at her, that's all she wanted?

"What?"

She snorted and nodded.

"That's all."

"Oh- uh yeah..."

She nodded and patted the bed next to her. I internally groaned, wondering what was happening.

I sat down and looked at her.

"What now?"

"Harry I was only going to ask if you wanted to go out for a bit with me and Ron."

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"You know...just to talk."

"Your awfully bad at acting you know 'Mione..." I rolled my eyes.

"Ok fine! I just want to know how you're doing Harry!"

I forced a smile onto my face when that was actually the last thing I felt like doing.

"I'm fine Hermione, honest."

She looked put out I didn't elaborate but nonetheless aloud me to leave. I slowly walked back into my room to grab all my stuff before we headed out to the ministry cars that were waiting, for extra protection.

Just as we were leaving, Sirius and Remus pulled me into the front room and hugged me.

"Pup, please make sure you call us on the mirror by 8pm tonight. If you don't, we will call you and if you don't answer Remus will floo Minnie." Sirius said, for once seriously.

I just nodded, and went to leave.

"Bye pup..."

I didn't reply.

His face held a look of hurt, I knew it was because of me, not only hurting myself but ignoring him completely as well. I couldn't help it, I didn't deserve his worry, I wasn't worth it. I didn't really blame him for telling everyone, who wouldn't?

But I was just so prideful that it irked me when they all found out about my habits. And then instead of humiliating me they all tried to comfort me. I knew I didn't deserve their love and kindness for I am just a freak, a burden and a broken boy.

We all gathered in the cars and drove off to Kings Cross. When we arrived at the platform I walked off silently, without saying goodbye to Molly or Arthur. The others tried to follow me but I managed to loose them by weaving in and out of the crowds.

I sat towards the back of the train, not too far back as the Slytherins sat there, but far enough back that the Gryffindors wouldn't find me.

After about 20 minutes a short blonde Ravenclaw by the name Luna Lovegood entered the compartment.

I had met her in my second year, her first and we became friends. She understood me like nobody else. You see she is a seer so she didn't even have to ask about me cutting or drinking or smoking and she didn't pity me, instead she comforts me.

"Hello Harry..." she said somewhat sadly.

"Hey Luna..."

She sat down and held me tight.

"I'm sorry Luna... I just can't live without drinking and taking drugs." Just as I was about to ramble on she put a finger to my lips in the universal sign to shut up.

"It's ok Harry, I promise I'm not angry. I just wish there is something I could do...but I know better with you." She said the last part dreamily, probably her seer abilities kicking in telling her just how bad it was getting.

"It's too late for me Luna." I said bluntly but not unkindly.

She smiled sadly with tears glistening in her trademark silvery eyes.

"I know. Your too far gone aren't you?"

I nodded, knowing full well it was true.

"There's absolutely nothing anyone can do that will stop you is there Harry?" She asked, there was no hope in her voice as she had already seen it in his eyes.

"No Luna, there isn't."

And with that I turned and looked out the window.

Luna's PoV:

I sighed sadly, knowing deep down nobody could help Harry, my first friend.

He always refused to call me Looney and eventually helped me make friends with Ginny. I wish I could help him, he was such an amazing kind boy but I knew deep down how he would end up.

I had seen his fate in one of my seer episodes. It wasn't pretty... it saddens me that I cannot hell as it has already been set in stone by Fate herself.

If it was months ago then maybe, but now it was impossible. I knew I couldn't tell anyone and it upset me greatly. But that would change the timeline and therefore mess up the world.

He had to want to help himself but I could see he didn't want to, he wanted to die...

And as sad as it was, it was the only way he could find peace.

End of chapter!!

-B