spooky • binsung [abandoned, apologies]

10

changbin sat up in the bed that night, crossed legged with his elbow resting on his knee and his chin in his hand. he sighed as he looked at jisung with a pained smile on his face. changbin didn't know when his birthday was, but it was already july, meaning the year was halfway over already. and he doesn't know when his birthday is. he could be turning 22 tomorrow. he could be cutting it seriously close on time. how is he supposed to find love by a due date if he doesn't know the due date?

his gut is telling him he should be nervous. well, he was nervous anyway. what if he never got to experience what life was like?

what if his 22nd birthday is actually tomorrow? he could run out of time the next day. or the day after that. and he doesn't even know.

this should determine him. it really should. he should be springing back and trying his hardest. but after years and years of knowing that time was just ticking it's way by while he had no chance of living again, he was quite lacking in the whole determination bucket. perhaps he should just give up and be grateful he even has a conscious. maybe this is better than living anyway?

no. he has a chance now. jisung is his chance. possibly—no—probably his last chance. he has to take it while he can. because any minute he could turn 22 and he might not even know it.

he can't give up.

he can't.

not when there's an adorably gorgeous (how is that possible??) boy willing to help him. no. he won't give up. he has jisung now. he can do this. he can.

he will.

the clock ticks as changbin stared at the ceiling, never having climbed under the covers, rather lying down on top of them, jisung sound asleep and snoring softly beside him. changbin turned on his side and eyed the younger, who's back was facing him. the boy suddenly stirred, turning over to his other side. changbin panics, hovering off of the bed in fear that he'd waken the younger. but jisung only shifted and hummed in his sleep, settling back down as his little snores resumed.

changbin sighed in relief as he slowly floated back down on top of the covers, laying down in a way so that he was facing jisung, whose head had somehow slipped off of the pillow. he smiled at the cute boy and considered scooting closer and just wrapping the younger into his arms and pulling him close. but he didn't. he didn't want to possibly frighten the boy or cross any boundaries.

light was flowing in steadily through the curtains at this point and jisung would probably awaken soon. changbin exhaled slowly, trying to match his breathing to the rising and falling of the covers jisung was bundled in. jisung shifted and a bunch of his hair fell onto his eyelids. changbin blinked before reaching out and gently brushing the soft hair out of jisung's eyes. his hair wasn't too long, but it was long enough that changbin could tuck it behind jisung's ear, so he did just that. though a bit of his hair was sticking up against the pillow. he smiled bitterly at jisung's cute sleeping form, knowing he was already madly in love with the younger boy. how dare he be so cute whilst sleeping.

damn. he fell in love way too easily.

but then again, maybe it was just desperation. after all, jisung was his last chance.