90s Love

Chapter 31

I had no idea I could cry that much.

It was something that I couldn't even control. I'd have a thought or looked at something and be instantly reminded of him, and I'd be in tears before I could even blink. Nothing anyone said could make any of it better, and unless you could get Quincy to show up at my front door or call me back, I was never gonna be okay.

My mind only shut off when I slept. Which I could only do after I tired myself out from the crying. Otherwise, I would stare at the ceiling and let my thoughts consume me into a depressed headspace.

I never thought a broken heart would literally leave you feeling so broken.

I didn't wanna believe it. I didn't want it to be real.

Yet it was. And it was all my fault.

🖤

Monday came around, which meant school, and I was nowhere near prepared. I didn't do any of my homework, and with the amount of crying I did, it all seemed a little surreal to get out of bed and get ready to leave the house.

I threw on a hoodie and sweats, calling that a suitable outfit before making my way to the kitchen where, surprisingly, Calvin beat me to.

"Hey." He greeted, showing me a soft smile. "I toasted you some eggos." He placed the plate in front of me.

"I'm not hungry." I simply responded.

"You've barley eaten these last two days." He pointed out. "You gotta be hungry."

"I'm not." I honestly replied. "I'm not in the mood for food."

"Oh." Calvin replied slightly defeated as he slid the plate his way.

"I'm gonna go now."

"To school?"

"Where else would I be going?" I responded, adjusting my backpack on my shoulder as I walked out of the room.

"Ion know."

Also known as 'go pop up on Quincy and beg for him back'.

I rolled my eyes, walking to the front door opening it, spotting Nicki crossing the street to meet up with me.

She greeted me warmly, smiling as she hooked her arm with mine. "Hey sister from another mister. How you feeling?"

"Like shit."

"Me too." She quickly agreed as we started walking. "How are you feeling about school? Do you know what you're gonna do if you see him?"

"Shove myself in a locker."

"Janae." She sighed, looking at me. "Are you sure you're in the right mindset to be coming today?"

"I'm fine." I insisted.

This wasn't me and I knew it wasn't. I wasn't the type of girl that let people see her cry and get emotional. I was stronger than I was acting and I knew I had to get it together. No matter what happened between Quincy and I, I'd probably been through worse to emotionally damage me.

I was fine.

I had to be fine.

🖤

The girls were concerned, with good reason. The last time we were all together I was a wreck, and now I was walking into school like I was going to war, with a stone-cold face and attitude. When all I was really hoping was that when I saw Quincy for the first time, I didn't crumble.