38. Safest of Havens.

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River enters the apartment, hearing the city continuing its noises below. He presses his back against the door, his face contorting with emotions as tears stream from his eyes. With a quiet cry, River sinks to the floor, and lets his tears loose. Deciding it was best to let it all out, purge his system of whatever inhibitions he withheld.

Seeing James's face and clearing things up was all he needed. He hadn't realized until leaving the venue, but it was a revelation that caused hurt and reminded him of the trauma. River wanted to hate James, but he'd been left with hating the situation, the cause behind their split. Closure was paramount in moving on, but he had no clue it would leave him in anguish as much as it did in the moment. He could only hope that things would get better, that he would recover after mulling over it long enough. So he lets himself go, and lets it hurt him just like it had upon happening.

A few minutes in, River wipes the tears that stream down his cheeks and gathers at his chin to fall on his shirt.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Sebastian's sultry, and surprisingly calm voice calls out. "River? It's Sebastian."

River remains frozen in place, unmoving as he struggles with the decision to answer or let the man continue calling until he left.

"I know you're here." The man calls out and River squeezes his eyes shut, wishing it wasn't real. "Please, River, let me in." The man begs with a lowered voice, and River struggles to stand on his own two feet, but he fixes it in a moment.

After ensuring he'd wiped his face clean, River reaches for the door hesitantly. "Please?" Sebastian asks again, so River slowly opens the door, peeking from behind it with his eyes averted.

"What-. What are you doing here?" He asks, self-consciously wiping his cheeks.

"Are you going to let me stand out in this cold, uninviting corridor?" He asks and River sighs, but he widens the door and lets Sebastian walk in.

"You didn't have to come check in on me." River states as he closes the door, but Sebastian turns to face him with a languid sigh and a forlorn look of worry in his eyes.

"You can try shutting me out, but I won't let it happen." Sebastian takes a step towards River, but he backs up against the door as if in defense and the man frowns in disappointment and steps back to give River space.

"If you're worried about my emotions clouding my judgment and preventing me from doing the job you asked of me, then let me ease your mind." He says firmly. "I am fine." He remarks, giving Sebastian no time to form a rebuttal. "Tonight was just another bad night."

"I'm worried about you." Sebastian states, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm fine, Mr. Black." He snaps and Sebastian recoils at the formality in River's brittle tone.

"Except the fact that you aren't fine. I know who James Bordeaux is to you." He remarks and River scoffs.

"Was to me." River retorts, but he fixes his composure and lowers his voice. "What can I do to change your mind?"

"Nothing. I want you to be honest with me! For once, I just want you to be straight about what's going on."

"Because you care?" River asks.

"Yes! I care about you, as much as you may think differently." Sebastian points out, once again pretending it was the most apparent thing in the world. "One moment you're telling me you're not ready for this, then the next minute you're kissing handsome doctor man." River rolls his eyes at the suddenly nauseating nickname discovered by Cassie.

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