Nathan and Sophie Oneshots

Top Floor (Nathan's POV)

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say-

I sighed and turned the page again. I didn't want to hear about how she'd wanted me back and how she'd missed me. If she had wanted me back that much, maybe she should have called me or come to see me in London. Yeah, I probably would have still been angry but if she'd showed some remorse and actually fought for me, I might have taken her back. Not now though. Too late now for anything to go back to the way it was. The damage is too deep to be fixed.

I skipped three more pages randomly before I landed on one she'd called Everything You Are with guitar chords scrawled messily down the margin.

'Cause maybe I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night
If that's alright
I shouldn't have fucked with your mind
And your life too many times
Or maybe I don't wanna be lonely
Darling, you are my only love
Behind my truth lies everything you are

I wasn't sure whether I liked this one. She didn't fuck with my mind or my life that much, just the once. But I doubted I was her 'only love' anymore. I'm sure she's had plenty over the past couple of years.

Not that I care.

I flicked over to the next page. By now I'd completely forgotten about whether it was morally right to be pressing my nose up against the glass of this window into her life, her thoughts, feelings, emotions. I was engrossed.

You're far away tonight
Haven't seen you in a while
It always feel like a climb
On this never ending hill

And I keep saying, wait just one more day
Days slowly drift away
And I can hold to the memories
But they wont hold me in the same way
As you

And this distance between us
Has has come and cut us clean as
A sharp blade
And this distance between us
Has made my heart as weak as
Silk that's frayed

That one hit me because it was so true. She had described our break up exactly right - like a knife had cut us clean in half. It all happened so suddenly; one minute we had a beautiful relationship and within the space of fifteen minutes, it was completely detonated.

The next page was another crinkly one, more tear stains dotted across the paper like I'd seen earlier. The writing was still legible though, the words Top Floor written at the top of the page. It kind of puzzled me because the title didn't seem to give anything away about the song's meaning. It didn't seem like it had anything to do with love or heartbreak or break ups. Maybe it was a lovely chirpy song or something; it would make a nice change at this point. But then my eyes fell on the tear stains again and I didn't get my hopes up.

I can see the city life,
From where I stand on the top floor,
And I'm not sure if I'm dead,
I raise my hands to the clouds,
To check if heaven is with me now,
'Cause the devil's in my bed

And he won't love me,
Like he could,
And he won't hold me,
Like he would,

I bid this city goodnight,
And cover street lamps just like my eyes,
When it's quiet I'll go,