Anna: Harry Styles

Woman

"Um, Harry said he was jealous of Jasper and him leaving with me the other night," I said, just loud enough for them to hear but soft enough for nobody else to hear.

"What the FUCK?" Ruby yelled, that girl never having idea of her surroundings and who would hear her when she yells like that. "Sorry, over the top, I know."

"As per usual," James laughed and Ruby rolled her eyes at him. "But please explain what happened. Every detail too."

I nodded before I have them a play-by-play of what happened in the dressing room, right up until Jeff came and whisked him away. I was still just as confused as I was when he admitted his feelings, so I cannot imagine how Ruby and James were feeling about the whole situation.

"Well that just confirms that Woman is about you," Ruby laughed and I went to protest but I thought about the lyrics and it made sense, which made me feel so fucking sick and naive.

"I hope you can see the shape that I'm in, while he's touching your skin," James sung and I wanted to scream, because he was right.

"Holy fuck," I mumbled, my mind racing between the possibility that Harry does or once upon a time has feelings for me and the fact that he literally probably has a song written about my ex-boyfriend and me.

"You're gonna be his girlfriend by the end of the week, I'm calling it," Ruby stated and I rolled my eyes at her, because there was no way in hell that was happening. Harry addressing his feelings happens about once every two years and I cannot deal with change this quickly, meaning Harry and I are in for a rocky couple of months until one of us decides to do something about whatever 'we' are.

"Rubes it's Saturday, we already are at the end of the week," I laughed, James nodding in agreement with me while Ruby just shrugged her shoulders at me.

"Then prepare to have a boyfriend by the end of tomorrow night," she said and I scoffed, knowing that just because Harry admitted that he was jealous of Jasper, does not instantly mean he was going to be my boyfriend. There was so, so much more that we needed to speak about and I do not think either of us were emotionally ready for that to happen just yet.

"Well at least kiss him when we go out next," James said nonchalantly with a grin.

"Absolutely no way, not happening," I said as I sat down at a randomly placed couch at the cusp of the wings, confused at how and why there was a couch there but not complaining. "One, I cannot just kiss him in public and two, we don't even know if he likes me like that."

As soon as I said the last couple of words, the backing of 'Woman' began to play and I felt my heart began to race and I could see Ruby watching the stage intensely.

"The way he is singing right now will answer your last statement perfectly," she smirked and I sighed as I walked into the wings to stand with Jeff and a few other people, my body and soul being absolutely hypnotised about how Harry was performing right now. If I was being completely honest, my usually shy and unsure self wanted to rip off his clothes, but that was just be a bit stupid and very wrong at the present time.

I had never seen him perform this song with that much passion before, and his voice was full of so much emotion I was sure he was about to burst any second. His body was moving in a sort of lustful way that made my jaw drop and I was sure that everybody around me was noticing too.

"Girl, you have got him good," James laughed as he came up behind me with Ruby by his side and we stayed in the wings for the rest of the concert, my heart still racing the whole time as I watched him sing and move like an angel.

"Fuck, I don't even know how I am supposed to talk to him," I said to Ruby and James. We were back in the dressing room cleaning up the mess we had left and I knew he would walk in here any minute now and I wanted to be gone before that happened.

"Just like you usually do, he is so infatuated with you Anna it's insane," Ruby said as I folded his clothes and left them on the couch for him.

"How do you know that?" I asked running a hand through my hair and I heard voices coming down the hallway and I knew it was him and I needed to get out of here and back to my hotel room, preferably to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet as I was so nervous I wanted to vomit.

"He told me a couple of weeks ago. I promised not to say anything until he spoke to you but I guess now is as good as time as any," Ruby said and I gasped at the fact that Harry had told my best friend about his feelings for me and had never mentioned anything to me before.

"I'm going, I'm not coming out, I'll be asleep by the time you guys get back," I said quickly, picking up my phone and bag before opening the door and walking smack bang into the last person that I wanted to see. "Ah fuck sorry Harry."

"Mhm it's fine Anna," he said looking down at me, his eyes staring at me like he was trying to find the right words to say. "Where are you going."

"Back to my hotel room, I'm tired," I said, lying through my teeth. On the contrary I felt more awake than ever before but I was so scared to talk to him that I just needed to get out of here.

"Oh okay, I'll see you later," Harry said and I nodded as he walked back into the dressing room, closing the door behind him as I just stood there like a star struck fan girl, unsure of what to do with myself.

"You idiot! Why didn't you say anything to her?" I heard Ruby yell at Harry and I ran off before I could hear anything more, mainly because I did not want to hear what he had to say.

I knew that it was stupid that neither of us were willing to address the situation that we had created but I was not sure I was ready to hear the fact that 'Woman' is about me or the fact that Ruby said he was infatuated with me or the fucking fact he said he was jealous of Jasper. Everything just happened all at once and I was so overwhelmed I was not sure any of it was really real.

All I have wanted for the past four years is for Harry to have some kind of romantic feelings for me and the minute it actually happens, I run away like a scared chicken. I knew him saying that he was jealous was not easy for him as he has never been good at admitting his feelings but the fact he just sprung it on me is what scared me the most.

After my Dad passed away when I was fifteen, change has been an extremely scary thing to me and I like structure. I like knowing what I'm wearing the next day and I like knowing where I am going to be in a year from know. Harry and romance is an unknown feeling for me which is what scares me the most, as there is definitely no structure in that.

I wish that it was easy between the two of us but the reality is that it never will be, and it scares me that things may never change between us because of that.

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Wohhooo the first Harry song as a chapter title

Woman is my favourite song of HS1 (and I think my favourite harry song overall) I just LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHHH

FINALLY things picking up (for the moment aha)

Less than a week until 10 years of 1D and I'm so scared hahahah

Stay safe, thank you for reading xx