The American Witch In A British World

Chapter 19 - The Letter

Published September 8, 2020 at 6:24 P.M.

~~~~~~~~~~~December 20th~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, before the time ball officially ends, I am in my dorm room. Sirius went back to Remus and Shawn is in his dorm.

I remember that today is exactly 7 months since he died. Since my world has turned upside down.

I begin to sob thinking, 'how could I be so selfish to just forget about him?' Everything is a blur but at some point in my sobbing, the rest come back from the ball and when Pansy comes in, she sees me sobbing and is by my side in an instant.

"What's wrong?" She asks trying to calm me down.

I just turn away from her and continue sobbing into my bed.

She gets up and leaves the room. When she comes back, she has Draco.

He tries to pull me into a hug, but I push him away. "Go get Shawn. His room is opposite ours," Draco says to Pansy.

When she returns again, Shawn tells them to give us some privacy and Pansy grabs some PJ's and they both leave.

"Sienna, is this about the accident?" He asks in his most soothing, gentle voice.

I nod and he pulls me into his arms. I try to get free, but he doesn't let me.

Once I calm down, he says, "when Aiden was in the hospital, remember when we asked to have a bit just us two?" I nod and he continues, "the reason we did that was because we both knew you wouldn't handle his death well. He asked for some paper and a pen to write this for you and he told me to give it to you if I thought you needed help moving past his death." He hands me an envelope with my name on the front in Aiden's handwriting. I open it.

Dear Sienna,

If you are reading this, that means the doctors couldn't save me and you are struggling with my death.

Before I write what you need to hear, I need to get this off my chest. Please don't be mad at me for this, I sincerely wish I could've told you this in person, but I wasn't able to. I had to swear to secrecy about this. I need to tell you somehow that I knew you were adopted and that you were a witch. I also knew that Shawn was a wizard and that you are going to Hogwarts this summer. I knew, but Shawn didn't know you were adopted, he only knew that you were a witch. I had to swear to not tell you even though every second of every day, I wished that I could tell you.

Do you remember when we went to see Hamilton? after it was over and we were walking home, you told me that your favorite line is, "death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the Saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway. We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm still alive when everyone who loves me has died I'm willing to wait for it." I want you to remember those words for even when there seems to be no light, remember that you are there for a reason.

I want you to try your very hardest to move on. I don't want you to live the rest of your life morning over me. Live your life how you want to live. Make friends, focus on the things that bring happiness, find love, discover your true self. Always remember that I am with you whether it's in your memories, in your heart, or watching over you in heaven, I will always be with you no matter what happens.

I want you to keep living every day remembering that I love you and will never leave you.

Another thing, in this envelope, is the thing I was going to give you for your graduation. I want you to have it now.