That Ballah Love: Down For My Ballah

Chapter 54 (Part 6)

I don't want my kids to grow up without a mama like I did, I don't want them to have to become adults too fucking early cause they aint got a choice. They have to do it or they won't survive out here. I dont want them to know that struggle I went through and that I still grow through. i can't teach them everything shit, Cause im still out here learning.

" Where are the girls? " Trade ask.

" Where ever the hell their at " I huffed.

My aunt popped me in my head and I rolled my eyes.

" Gucci im not about to play with your ass "

" He doesn't need to be worrying about my kids. Point blank period " I say.. Their my kids and my sisters. Not his. Let me have that and be their damn daddy. Im not asking to be in your son life.

" Nigga get the fuck out your feelings. Im not worried about you and if it wasn't for Cash I would have already hurt you " Trade says.

" You couldn't see me on my worst day , nigga " I tell him. Cash pumped this dude up to much. " Bombing a few houses was nothing. thats child play, step it up when you come back. Shit I did was just for a laugh "

" And the shit you did put all of your family at risk dumb ass " He says.

"  Just like you put your son there "

Neither of us said shit we just looked at eachother. I might be alot of shit but when it comes to these streets im no fool. I have been doing it far too long.

" Leave. Both of yall can get to stepping. My bestfriend is back there fighting for the life of her and her child and yall niggas going to argue and fight about the streets and killing eachother. Yall petty and don't have no fucking respect at all " Rae yells. " Its embarrassing to the both of you, grow the fuck up "

Gucci's always the bad guy. Gucci is always wrong.

I already know this.

" You right. Ima leave "

I didn't have no shirt and I was covered in bandages and scars and blood but I needed out of this room before i did something to make this day even worst. My mind wasn't in its right state right now.

" Gucci " My aunts said.

I grabbed my shit and headed out the room.

I needed to walk for a little and get my mind right. But my body was in pain and every step I took it felt worst.  I ain't let that stop me from roaming around the hospital.

I was just thinking. I needed to call and check on the girls and make sure they were okay but I had no clue where my phone was. If it was in the car at the site of where we crashed on the ground or if police had took it.

Alot of stuff in my mind is blank right now. I don't remember much after they put her into the ambulance and hearing them say she has no pulse. I don't remember me getting into ambulance or coming to the hospital. Them taking me and working on me. I just remember that and waking up in pain.

I stopped at a window that showed all the babies in these little beds.  They were so damn tiny and just squirming around or sleeping.

Boys in blue, girls in pink.

I never seen one of my girls small like this. The babygirls were so little and looked like little toys. They looked fragile.

" Is one of them yours? " I hear a bitch voice. I turned around and looked at the Nurse shaking my head.