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chapter eight ——that's kinda the whole point
IS IT ODD THAT SOMEONE REMEMBERS the exact moment they grow up, the exact second that everything in the world changes out of those rose coloured glasses and they can see clearly for the first time? And they want it to go back, because the world is this big and dark, uninviting place that envelops every warm and happy thought for miles.
It's funny, because as a child everyone always wanted to grow up, and perhaps as adults everyone still wants to grow up too, because when do you truly become an adult? When the world tells you that you do? Or is it when your brain decides that you've been through enough trauma to last three people their life times?
Jude can remember the exact moment that she saw the world in black and white, that she no longer was plagued by thoughts of swirling butterflies and stories of fairies laying wreaths of daisies on her parents lawn. She had been thirteen at the time, and an insignificant event or not it had been the death of River Phoenix, announced the day after Halloween that influenced Judes 'you do good or you do bad' mentality.
Surrounded by life is not good, she realises this soon on. When you are surrounded by nothing but life you struggle to cope with death, so when Judes first interaction with death had been through a celebrity she had spotted once on a vacation to california, well her parents had put her through a grief counselor. All in all Ms Macnamara hadn't accomplished much, but she had allowed Jude to unlock her hidden love for hot chocolate or as she liked to call it, 'the superior comfort drink'.
