I seriously don't know how I feel sometimes.
maybe I need help. Scratch that I definitely do need help but that's not an option.
I wish that i wasn't always a second choice. I don't know whats wrong with me. But I do know one thing, which is im not good enough. And I don't say that for pity.
Sometimes I wonder why it happend. Would I have been different if that didn't happen to me? Why did it? Why?
Why am I such a coward?
Why were you such a coward?
I loved you. And I think deep down I knew you didn't love me. I just wanted to thrive in this beautiful blissful world named ignorance.
I have a person. But sometimes one person isn't enough.
I hate it here. And i don't mean that in a quirky way. I hate it here.
I don't think I'll make it out. I'm scared of the future. My main future goal is getting out. I need to get out of here.
I'll have to run away won't I?
I will.
I know I'm depressed. But why am I scared to take the pill? Take it. All of it will go away. Take it. Take it. Just take it!
Fuck off.
Leave me. I'm used to it anyway.
Im numb.
