✔️Damaged - Choi San x Reader (ATEEZ gang)

Chapter 30

I had told NCT about me and where I have been hiding these past 8 months. I mentioned how I felt like I just needed to get away for a while and that I won't scare anybody by running away again.

I wasn't super close with all of the members but they all bought me into a group hug then Taeyong dragged me away to play games on the PlayStation like I had promised from the pool party.

It was close in who was going to win but I ended up beating him after a while of us competing against each other. Taeyong didn't look happy when he lost and insisted that we should play again which we did.

Taeyong also lost that second game as well which made him stomp off like a child. All of the boys laughed at the fact that he was beaten by a girl.

Lucas and I are now walking to Ateez's door. I pressed the bell and waited for someone to answer.
(Geonbaehaja like a thunder)
(Bulleo bulleo uril jigeum bulleo)

The door finally opened and Hongjoong came into my sight. He smiled politely and greeted us with a 'hey' and let us in. I could feel Hongjoong's stare as I walked inside. It was as if he was trying to figure me out.

I looked back to him again and a switch must have flicked in his brain as he became shocked.

"Y/n, is that you?" He asked. I nodded and waved. Hongjoong pulled me into a hug. I hesitated at first but soon hugged him back.

"It's so great to see you again. We have all missed you so much! Let's go and see the others."

Hongjoong grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me along to the kitchen. Lucas followed along behind the both of us. As we walked through the house, I looked around and nothing had changed since I last came in here. Everything was still in the same place. Well obviously the pillows on the sofa weren't but everything else seemed the same.

Hongjoong finally stopped walking when we got into the kitchen. I looked up and saw 7 people staring at me.

"Wow Hongjoong! Are you getting a turn with her today? Can I have her after you?" Asked Wooyoung. I stomped up to him and you could see the anger clearly on my face.

I grabbed his ear and pulled him to stand up. "Wooyoung, I dare you to say that one more time. I will beat the shit out of you." I growled. Everybody gasped in shock. Even Wooyoung.

"Y/n, is that really you?" Seonghwa asked. Wooyoung pulled me into a hug, squishing me to death. I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Wooyoung, too tight!" I gasped. He loosened his grip but not by much.

Wooyoung finally let go but I was soon squashed again when all of the others gave me a group hug including Wooyoung again. We stayed like this for a while, enjoying each other's embrace.

When we all pulled away, I realised that San was no where to be seen. Did he not join the group hug?

I thought about all of the reasons San might have left the room.

Maybe he didn't want to see me again.

Maybe he is angry with me for leaving.

Maybe he doesn't feel the same way that he used to feel.

I was knocked out of my thoughts when Mingi shook my shoulders and said that we all need to talk. We all decided to go to the living room but I wanted to get San too so I ran upstairs first.

I knocked on his door but got no reply from him. I tried again another 4 times and still didn't get a response. I tried one last time but as I knocked, the door flew open and an angry San appeared asking "what the fuck do you want? I don't want to..." San stopped when he realised it was me. He looked like a deer in front of headlights. He soon came out of his gaze and slammed the door on me.

I'm not going to lie but that hurt me. Next thing I know, I hear items smashing on the ground and the walls.

I opened the door: running inside to stop San from hurting himself. I got to him but I stepped on something sharp, forgetting that there were smashed belongings everywhere. I winced making an "ouch" sound. I didn't scream or anything because I learned to endure the pain in these last few months. I learned to not react when I felt pain. If I did react. I would get a beating from the guy who payed to hire me or one of the gang members after the random men complained about me.

San realised that I had stepped on the glass and stopped throwing things, looking shocked at me. "Why did you come in here? You are hurt now!" San hissed while coming over carefully and picked me up, placing me on his bed.

He went to get what I was assuming was the first aid kit then came back in with it. I shuffled further up the bed so I could lie down. San sat on the end of the bed and grabbed my foot, taking a look at the sharp object in my foot.

I watched as San carefully took the sharp object out of my heel with some tweezers. I didn't flinch once when he did it. I learned that flinching always made people's reactions worse and they would hurt me more.

"Did it not hurt you?" San asked looking over to me while covering the cut with a plaster.

"It hurt a lot but I learned to endure pain while moved out." I mumbled with no emotion on my face.

Once San had finished healing my foot, he came and lay next to me. "What were you doing while you were away? Did someone hurt you?" He asked.

To be honest, I didn't want to tell San about everything that happened. He will be so disappointed with me when he finds out that I basically worked as a hooker. At first I just did the whole dancing at the strip club but people kept asking for me when booking a room so I got reeled into that too.

"I don't want to tell you because you will hate me. I don't want the one of the only people that cares about me to hate me. I wouldn't be able to live with that." I stated.

San hesitantly lifted his hand to my face and stroked it in a comforting manner. "I promise I will never hate you. People make mistakes and do things that they may hate all the time."

I thought hard and decided to tell San hoping that he would stick with what he just said. I couldn't bare the thought of him hating me.

"So, when I left, I ran away as far as I could by foot. I arrived in a small town that looked a bit dodgy. This guy came up to me and basically asked me if I wanted a job. I didn't know what the job was at the time but I knew I needed one asap so I took it without knowing. He told me his name was Changkyun." I paused when San's face became serious.

San was thinking about how did he not even think of Monsta X having y/n. It made him angry that he tried so hard to find her and she was nearby the whole time. They all assumed eventually that y/n had moved far away. Maybe even abroad.

"So I went with Kyun and he told me about the job role. It was a role of a stripper for the strip club. I agreed as it would only be dancing on a pole or on people. After a few weeks, they changed my job role. Too many people were asking for me in the private rooms so they told me I would have to hook up with people and let them do whatever they wanted with me. I agreed to it as I needed the money and they would have fired me if I didn't. Sometimes it got to be too much for me. The random men would hurt me often. When they hurt me they just left straight after. Wonho would help me while I sat there shaking and unable to move. He would give me the aftercare that I needed. The random men hurt me in ways I couldn't have ever imagined. I was burned, strangled/choked, cut and much more." I was now currently sobbing and San bought me into his comfort.

"It carried on like that for the rest of my time there. The day you all came, I was told to serve your table and give the 'men' a lap dance. I went over and realised it was Ateez and NCT. I was dancing on Lucas when he pulled me into a kiss." San flinched at the thought of those two kissing.

"Lucas somehow realised it was me from the kiss and told me that I had to leave with all of you and that the place was about to blow up so I went and now I'm here." I finished looking up to San for a reaction.
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Thank you so much for waiting patiently for me to update. I have been trying to write a bit each day but I have been busy with coursework.

I am nearly done with my course and I am still not back at work because of lockdown so I will be able to update most days soon!