Hats On {A Kingsman: Golden Circle x Reader} (Sequel to Suited}

Chapter 6

(Y/n) P.O.V.

Eggsy was in Harry's room, trying to get him to come back. I, still pissed off, was with Merlin and Ginger in the observing room. "I never got to apologize." I say to no one in particular, staring straight ahead. "For what?" Merlin asks. "Before he left for the church, he told me about my mother. I said somethings he didn't deserve. I thought I'd never get to see him again, and apologize. And then this...this is almost worse." I answer. Eggsy leaves the room, and enter this room. "Nothing." He says sadly. I look down while he's in here. "(Y/n), can I please talk to you?" I bite my lip, and just exit the room, waiting outside the door once I'm there. Eggsy follows a few moments later. "(Y/n), please I'm so sorry, I didn't-" I hold a hand up. "Is this how it's always going to be? We knew that this happen, this is why relationships are against the Kingsman regulation. I mean, what are we going to do when this happens again? Shou-Should we really keep doing this?" I ask, trying not to break. He gives me the saddest look alive. "What are you saying? You want to break up?"

"I don't want to Eggsy, I love you, but I'm asking...is it better if we do?" He grabs my hand desperately. "(Y/n), no! Please don't think like this. I love you so much, I want us to be together."

"But what if we're holding each other back from missions?"

"Since when did we ever follow the rules?" He laughs, but there's sadness behind the smile. "I-I-I-I-" I start just plain sobbing. He grabs me, and holds me tightly. "Please (Y/n), don't do this. We're going to do this together. You're just stressed, we all are. It's going to be okay." He promises, but it sounds like he's holding back his own tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I mumble over and over. He kisses me with neediness. "It's okay. Please, just stay." I nod. "I'm sorry I said anything." I said that, but I still felt like it was wrong. I love Eggsy so much, but I'm scared that we're gonna lose each other. That's my real fear. We'll grow so attached we won't be able to live without the other.

~~~~~

Eggsy left, needing a drink, I needed one to, but not with him. He looked hurt by that, but ultimately accepted it. I'm scared....I've never been in a serious relationship before, and now that it's getting really serious to the point that I was actually excited at the thought of him proposing, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of something real. And I also love it. I just don't know where to go. I feel like if I couldn't be with Eggsy, I couldn't be with anyone. I loved him more then anything in the world, which is why I'm so confused. I end up at some random bar called Maggie's, and go up to order a whiskey. "Rough night?" The older looking waitress behind the bar asks. "Something like that." I grumble whilst looking at the old, dirty, unconscious guy at the bar. "Boy troubles?" She teases. I down my drink. "You could say that."

"Well come on, give me something to work with." She insists, pouring another drink. I swirl it glass around, looking down at it. "I love this man, so much. But I'm also so afraid of the relationship. Our jobs...well we aren't supposed to be together. I'm starting to wonder...if I can do this. I'm scared of losing him. I'm terrified of a serious relationship." I respond, taking a drink.

"Honey, I'll tell ya a little something. A good relationship, a happy relationship, is nothing to be scared of. It could be the best thing that's ever happened to you." I don't respond, just finishing my drink. And yet, everything I've ever loved has left me. I get a text from Eggsy. I have a plan. It says. I look at the text, thinking about everything that we've done up to this point, every moment, every memory, every picture, every dance, conversation, or night in. And I realize that maybe I shouldn't let go. "Thanks for the advice." I tell the woman with a tight smile. "Good luck, honey." I throw some money on the bar, and call Eggsy. "What's the plan?"