Ludic Selcouth #1: Cracked Beat

Hit #32

After the Bellicoseʼs set, our group went to the VIP room. Mahigit isang oras na ang nakalipas pero hindi pa rin bumabalik sina Tase at Dalla. Not that Iʼm looking for them... Itʼs just that, hindi lang sila bumabalik pa.

Pinapagitnaan pa rin ako ni Rush at Zath. Si Lucien ay mayaʼt-maya lang akong sinusulyapan habang nakikipag-usap kay Hexon. Itʼs kind of surprising that Hexon Ladesa is close to them, I just canʼt remember meeting him in person back in college. I mean, I donʼt know if heʼs here because of Prada or heʼs really friends with the band. At the sight of it, it might be the latter. Si Lucien din naman ay parang malapit sa banda, nag-mumurahan nga lang sila.

“So Zemira,” panimula ni Rush na nasa tabi ko. I swallowed and looked at him.

“Care to tell us what happened to you?” seryoso niyang tanong. Pilit akong ngumiti at lumagok muna ng vodka. My face twisted with the familiar bitter taste.

“Well, we decided to come back in Laguna after mama recovered from her surgery. I was an engineer in LUCCUS firm branch in Laguna for the past 3 years,” casual kong pag-kukuwento kahit na tensyonado pa rin ako dahil sa tingin sa 'kin ng Ludic Selcouth. Para akong nililitis at bibitayin.

Tumaas ang kilay ni Paesyn na nasa harap ko lang. Tamad siyang sumandal sa couch at mataman akong pinagmasdan. “And you need to cut our communications?” malamig niyang tanong. I bit my lips as I looked guiltily at them.

“Iʼm sorry about that...” sabi ko na lang at nagbaba ng tingin. We went silent. Si Prada at Signy ay nasa isang gilid at may pinag-uusapan. Si Lucien at Hexon ay ganoon din. Ang Bellicose ay nasa kabilang couch at kami lang ng Ludic Selcouth ang naguusap-usap nang masinsinan dito.

“Why do you need to do that, Zemi?” tanong ni Castriel kaya hindi ko na alam ang isasagot ko. As much as possible, ayoko nang banggitin ang break up namin ni Tase.

“I...just need to distance myself, guys. But Iʼm totally fine now. We can hangout again anytime... if you still want.” muli silang natahimik. Maya-maya ay narinig ko ang mabigat na pagbuntong-hininga ni Zath sa gilid ko.

“You broke your promise. You said youʼll be at the end of our world tour,” Zath said with a hint of disappointment on his voice. I tensed again. Should I tell them that I was there? I should, right? Huminga ako nang malalim at malungkot na ngumiti.

“I was there...” ramdam ko agad ang panunusok ng tingin nila dahil sa sinabi ko.

“What?” ani Paesyn na naguguluhan.

“I didnʼt ditch your concert, of course. I won't let that pass,” I said while smiling.

“But...” muli akong nagbaba ng tingin dahil sa hindi natuloy na sinasabi ni Castriel.

“I was there, on the sea of people. Of course, you wouldnʼt be able to spot me. I was wearing a hoodie and a face mask that time,” natatawa kong sabi.

“You shouldʼve told us!” himutok ni Zath pero umiling-iling lang ako. Thatʼs my plan, they shouldn't see me.

“Itʼs fine, Zath. The important thing is, I was there.” sumama naman ang mukha ni Rush sa sinabi ko.

“We didn't see you,” sabi ni Rush at seryosong tumitig sa 'kin.

“That was the plan,” simple kong sagot kaya marahas na napabuntong-hininga si Paesyn.

“Cʼmon donʼt be mad at me now... Iʼm really sorry for cutting our communication... I just really needed it,” nguso ko at pinagmasdan sila. They didnʼt say anything. Nanatili rin akong tahimik at tumingin na lang sa shot glass na nasa glass table.