BROKEN VOWS

Chapter Twenty Five : Secrets

Benjamin's POV.

"Do you really think i would've been able to get a word across to you? You were so angry all the time Ben. You couldn't even address me properly as your wife unless you were punching the life out of me or forcefully having your way with me. You were also drunk when those pregnancies happened remember?" She wipes the tears running down her cheeks before continuing.

"There's no way you would've accepted the fact that they were yours, because we weren't even sleeping in the room when it happened. You changed Ben; i paid for it." She is right about everything though; I changed and i wasn't man enough to handle it so i blamed her for it.

Nothing would've changed the way I'd treated her, if i had found out about the miscarriage all those times. I was too far gone by then; i was consumed by the thoughts of not being good enough for her. I'd surrendered to the voices in my head telling me i would never be good enough for anyone. I actually believed there was another man waiting for her each time she goes out of the house; it would've been easier to accuse her of infedility and denied responsibility of those pregnancies instead of accepting the fact that I'd forcefully slept with my wife and impregnated her when i was drunk.

In a sick twisted way, i would've felt justified for causing all those miscarriage like I'd felt earlier when i attacked a man whom i now know as her cousin. Gosh! I still don't know how to react to the fact that she has really found her family, maybe its because i was already aware of it somehow or because I've got bigger issues like killing my own kids to worry about right now.

I thought keeping my childhood experience a secret from everyone meant i wouldn't have to deal with the reality of what actually happened myself. I thought if no one knew about it then, i would get over it easily and it will be as if none of it ever happened. I thought
hiding it will be better than having people remind me of it and trying to get me help. I was afraid of them looking at me differently.

Only now do i realize that hiding the truth and refusing treatment didn't help either. I'm sick; i was infected with the ability to hurt people without hesitation. I became a monster the moment those people touched me.

"Though I've only just figured you might be going through something, why didn't you tell me something was wrong Ben? I thought we were a team?" Only Rainbow has the ability to make you tell her everything just by looking at you with those big electric blue eyes of hers.

I could tell her everything from the beginning just so she can understand why i did what i did; but that'll be me looking for an easy way out. The exact way she's looking at me right now even though she doesn't know anything yet is what i'm afraid of. The pitiful look and soft tone she's using right now is what I've been trying to avoid all my life. I don't want her to forgive me because i wasn't strong enough to fight my demons before it got to her. What I've done is irreversible and unforgivable;
it's really as simple as it sounds.

So instead of answering her questions, i picked up my car keys and wallet while telling her that i needed some air as i walked through the door and entered my car.

I heard her calling out to me several times to come back and talk to her but i drove away anyways.
I don't know where I'm going but i really need to be far away from here right now.

Rainbow's POV.
Three hours! That's how long he's been gone. It started raining about an hour ago, and i've tried calling him about a hundred times but i can't seem to get hold of him. I went against my better judgment and called his adopted parents but they said he wasn't there either. I've contacted everyone i can possibly think of, including Aaron to ask of his whereabouts but no avail.

It's a quarter after midnight now and i still haven't gotten a lead on his whereabouts. Aaron has been on the phone too trying to get hold of some people that might help but they can't really do anything in this rain.

I've been twirling my medallion while looking at the drive way through the window for over an hour now, hoping he would just drive in but that hasn't happened. I'd even considered going out there to look for him too before the rain started.

"I know you wanna go look for him out there by yourself Bow! But its too late and it's raining cats and dogs out there." Hunter says while handing me a cup of tea. Did i forget to mention that he was still here? Yeah, he refused to leave me alone in the house; he said i needed someone to keep me company. I didn't argue with him though, because heaven knows i needed it. He's the only thing keeping me from falling apart right now. (Chuckles) Thank God for family huh?

"Thank you Hunter...for everything." I tell him while sipping on my tea. He has taken a stand by my side at the window while sipping his own tea too. "You're welcome." He says with a genuine smile as i lean on his shoulder gently while gazing outside.

We stayed like that for a while before Hunter said i should go to bed, which i refused of course but he wouldn't hear any of it. He insisted it was too late and i should be in bed by now especially after all I'd gone through today.

"But i." He holds up his index finger to his lips while making a shush sound. "No buts! You look like you're gonna pass out any moment from now; I can't let you stay up any longer than this. You're gonna look like the walking dead in the morning." He says while removing my hand from the mug's handle.

I tried arguing more but he gives me a stern look and i sigh soberly.
Great! Now I'm pouting like a kid. Hunter shakes his head fondly while saying. "Tell you what! You can go and rest your head, i will keep watch till he gets back okay?" I search his face for any form of tricks but he seems serious.

"I will let you know when that happens and you can take over from there, how does that sound?" It sounds reasonable but i can't let him do that for me! He has already done so much for me. But knowing how persuasive he can be, i know there's no other way but his. So i agreed and wished him good night.

I guess i was really as tired as i looked because the moment my back touched the bed, i was out like a candle light.

Author's Note.
Hello everyone!!!
Happy new month guys! I'm really excited for this new month and i pray it'll be better than last month.🙏🙏🙏 Also, we're almost at the end of this book, just a few more chapters and we'll be done with "Vows you didn't keep." Meanwhile...I will be publishing a new book tomorrow. I don't know which one its gonna be yet because I've been in conflict with myself about which one to publish first. Hopefully i will figure it out before tomorrow.

P.S...if you're confused about who Aaron is, he's Benjamin's childhood best friend and adopted brother.

A very big thank you @JustinaWilliamsO
Youngstar777
BertrandMichael
Hailson7
IfuOkolo
JoeSnazzY
Kalalenikov
rosettaogon
adokwu. For your continuous support, i really appreciate y'all. 😘😘

And to all my anonymous readers, y'all are amazing for cheering me on behind the scenes and i say a big thank you to you guys too. It will be very nice to know who you guys are though, so maybe follow me so i can thank you guys directly.🙏

🗣🗣🗣
Happy birthday @adokwu once again. You're really a friend worth fighting for, enjoy your day dear.🎂

Adiós mis adorables lectores.😁

STAY SAFE EVERYONE, BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER.😘😘