THAT DAMMED TOWER || Blairon, Drarry And Pansmione [ DISCONTINUED ]

♤~Chapter Three: Studying And Anxiety~♤

Present, Autumn.

Trigger warnings: finally some more angst (not much though), a few mentions of abuse, and mentions of panic attacks.

Ronald- Thirteen (Ronald POV).

After breakfast, Harry, Hermione, Parkinson and I went down to the libary since it was the holidays and we didn't have to go to class. But Hermione insisted we still study, jeez sometimes that girl can be a pain. Speaking of holidays, Harry was going to stay with Sirius and Remus for Christmas which is much better for Harry than staying with those dreadful Muggles. Sometimes he'd come back from school breaks with bruises and scars from the constant abuse from the Dursleys.

It's horible and I'm glad there are ways to prevent it. He's my best friend after all

The four of us made it to the Libary, Hermione had brought a few books from the common room and put them on one of the tables in the corner. Harry also grabbed a few quills from the common room and placed them on the table. We all sat down and Hermione instantly grabbed one of the books about History of magic and her notebook. She started reading as she wrote down notes without even looking at the notebook. I yawned, I still didn't get much sleep last night and I wasn't mood to study.

____/TIME SKIP\______________________________________________________

Hermione had basicly forced us to read every single book she had pulled out and by the time we had finished it was almost dinner. All we did was non-stop studying, I was frankly exhausted and hungry that when Hermione allowed us to go to dinner I bolted out of the Libary.

As I was running down the hall I bumped into a tall person, I was knocked to my feet but the other person kept their balance. They held their hand out so I could pull myself up on my feet, I looked at the boy and he had almost chocolate coloured skin with dark brown eyes. Blaise Zabini. I blushed so much that my face almost turned the colour of my hair. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up, "I-I'm sorry, I-I s-should of b-been lookin-" My apology was cut off when the tall boy held a finger over my mouth, "You don't have to apologise, Weasely, It was an accident," He smirked as he turned around and walked down the corridor.

'What the heck just happened?' I thought to myself, I had had feelings for Bliase Zabini ever since first year and when ever Malfoy and Harry would fight I tried my best to avoid Zabini. Otherwise I'd turn into a blushing mess that can't do anything.

Parkinson, Hermione and Harry walked up to me from behind and saw how flushed I was, "Um, Ronald, are you okay?" Hermione asked with a slightly confused expression, "Oh um, y-yes, I-I'm fine," I stuttered out. Hermione and Parkinson started walking down to The Great Hall, Harry and I followed.

We entered the hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table -again including Parkinson. I was so confused about why Parkinson was following us that I just chooses to ignore it.

She's not special anyways.

____/ANOTHER FLIPPING TIME SKIP\____________________
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After dinner, Parkinson had left for the Slytherin Common room, while the rest of us headed back to the Gryffindor tower.

Harry and I took a seat at the couch while Hermione sat down at one of the Scarlet and gold armchairs. "Ugh, I'm exhausted, 'Mione! Why did we ahve to study? It's Christmas break!" I complained as I leaned on Harry's shoulder, "But it isn't Christmas yet, is it?" Hermione said in a sarcastic tone. I rolled my eyes as Harry chuckled, "You really are an idiot, Mate," Harry mumbled. I gasped as I put a hand on my heart in a sarcastic way.

"Really!? I had no idea," I tried to hold in my laughs but I just ended up laughing anyways. Our laughter died down after a few moments, but we still chuckled a bit. We talked for a while before things became kind of... serious...

"Harry, that's not something you can make a joke about," Hermione sighed, "If I'm depressed, then why can't I make a joke about it? It's like telling a a human that they can't make a joke about themselves or they'll get offened. There's no point in saying that if the person making the joke is the one that's supposed to get offened," Harry started rambling on.

Hermione rolled her eyes until she realised what Harry had said.

"Harry..." Hermione said with worry laced in her voice, "Are you okay?" Hermione asked, "No, no I'm not. Because you can't tell me not to make a jok-" Harry was cut off, "No, I mean in general... you said you're depressed," Hermione sighed again, Harry seemed to realise what he said and bit his lip, "I-I didn't m-mean t-that," Harry started to stutter.

"Are you lying?" I asked, breaking through the uneasy silence, "You guys are overreacting," Harry choked out a fake laugh, "Are we, Harry? We care about you and when you say things liek that it scares us," Hermione almost started to tear up. Harry sighed and stood up, "It was a joke," Harry said, "Even if it was a joke, it goes back to my first point. You can't just make jokes about mental disorders," Hermione argued. I stood up making the two of them look at me, "I'm going to bed, I don't want to deal with this," I started to walk away.

I wasn't going to the dormitories because I needed to sleep, it was because I was about to have a panic attack. I didn't want to talk about mental illness, it made me feel sick. I didn't to have to explain anything because I had a panic attack mid way through a conversation. Out of all people, nobody would expect me to have a mental illness. I'm a cheerful person, right? Wrong. Sometimes the best thing to do Is give up, but I think I'd given up too many times.

I started to shake, but I just kept trying breathe. Luckily, it worked. The uneasy, sick feeling had gone away and I had stopped shaking. I was climbing up the stairs to the dormitories as I continued to focus on breathing properly.

Jeez did these panic attacks scare me.

I should still keep this a secret. I can't trust anyone, I can't even trust myself enough.

A/N: Thank you so much for 100 reads. I was really not expecting this book to get over twenty, let along one hundred. Thanks for that... now I hope you're ready for the real angst👌🏻😉

Word count: 1141 words.