A Voyage Towards the Horizon

📷 33: The Horizon

AMALIA

Nanlibre si Riguel ng iba't-ibang mga pagkain, sagot niya lahat. Kulang na nga lang ipatawag niya lahat ng mga tao sa La Maria para magcelebrate. Naging mabait pa siya sakin. Wala na siyang mga side comments sa mga sinasabi namin. Pag-ibig nga naman oh.

The whole time ng 'celebration' namin, palaging nagtatama ang mga mata namin ni Marco. I suddenly felt awkward around him. I don't know if he's thinking about our break up, because I am.

Simply thinking about it makes me want to break down. Hindi naman ako ganito dati. Gosh.

Maybe I already love him? I don't know. I'm not sure dahil hindi ko naman alam kung ganito na ba yun. Books told me that when you love someone, time slows down and you'll feel butterflies on your tummy. But I didn't feel any of that. So maybe I'm not inlove? I really don't know! And it frustrates me like hell. All I know is that, everytime I am with him I feel complete---and totally happy.

When we bid our goodbyes with each other hinatak ko na kaagad si Marco papasok sa sasakyan ko. He didn't complain and just let me drag him. I drove with my fastest limit. He didn't even complain with it either. Kung normal na araw lang to napuno na siguro ng mga mura at mga sermon niya ang tenga ko.

After an hour of driving, narating na namin ang Angkla. Ni hindi man lang kami nag-usap sa loob ng sasakyan. Bumaba na ako at nauna nang maglakad sa deriksyon ng dagat, alam kong susunod siya. I started climbing the rock formation to reach the top again.

Medyo nahihirapan ako dahil madulas but I felt his hands guiding and supporting me. I smiled inwardly. "Dahan-dahan naman." pinagalitan niya ako pero sa halip ay natuwa pa ako dahil nagsalita na siya.

After a few minutes narating na namin ang tuktok. I just stayed near the edge to open my arms wide, feeling the cold breeze. Habang nakatayo lang naman siya sa likod ko. Inaantay ata kung kailan ako mahuhulog. Chos.

Pinanood ko kung paano lumubog ang araw. It gets lost as it sinks deeper down into the horizon, leaving beautiful streaks of pink and orange across the wide sky. The colors were reflected by the sea, creating a magical view. "Some endings could end beautifully." hindi ko siya nilingon. Hindi ko kaya. "But maybe ours won't end that way."

"Your breaking up with me now?" malamig ang boses niya na halos hindi ko na nakilala. "The show's done?"

Lumunok ako. "I'm sorry Marco."

"Why? Okay naman tayo diba? Bakit di nalang natin ituloy Amalia? We worked out right?" rinig ko ang panginginig sa boses niya. I couldn't look at him, baka hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko at pagbigyan na lang ang gusto niya.

I know I can't stay here. Mali. I don't belong here even if I feel that I do.

"We started wrong Marco." This is wrong. Hindi na dapat kita dinamay sa mga plano ko. Wala akong idea sa kung ano ang nangyari sayo sa hinaharap. Baka naging hadlang na ako sa inyo ng mapapangasawa mo. I got too caught up with my mission and I forgot that you too have your own story.

"Edi ulitin natin. Liligawan kita. You deserve to be courted---every woman does. Huwag lang ganito Amalia. Mahal na kita." napapikit ako ng mariin. Ito na ang kinakatakot ko. Naligaw ako ng landas and I fell into a pit unconsciously. And then Marco followed me into it. This is all my fault.