the anatomy of love [BxB] COMPLETED

28

"And when you fucked me, was that for show?" Jackson says in a rough murmur.

Wes looks into his eyes, then turns his head, whispering so softly Jackson can barely hear, "No. You know it wasn't."

"Wes." Jackson brings his arms around Wes's waist, kissing him on the crook of his neck. "You don't need to protect me."

"I know," Wes says softly, and he turns his head and he looks so sad and so young, smaller, too, and Jackson kisses him if only to not see those eyes, so blue, blue, blue, like glass right before it shatters. I'm protecting myself.

"Then don't."

"It's not that simple."

"Only if you stop kissing me."

"Jackson," Wes says, pained. "You don't know..."

"I know more than you think." Jackson brings a hand up to Wes's cheek, a gesture that suddenly reminds him of his mother, the night before he left for college, briefly holding his face in her hands with a look in her eyes like she was losing something she believed would be hers forever.

I'm not leaving forever, mama.

No, his mother had said, you have already left.

He never understood why she said that, but in this moment, looking at Wes, his heart beating slow, slow, slow like a death march, he thinks he understands, if only a little.

"Trust me?" Jackson asks. Wes's lips quirk into a smile.

"Trust you? Jackson Cooper, the official heartbreaker?"

"Fuck off."

Wes leans in and kisses him, carefully at first, and then with more force, pressing Jackson against the counter.

"I'm sorry," Wes says.

"For what?"

"Not making you breakfast that morning."

"You're making me food right now," Jackson says, and he can barely play it off with a smile, because here is the apology Jackson had fantasized about, and the implications of this moment, this apartment, are making him dizzy.

Wes shakes his head. "It's different, and we both know it."

"This isn't romance, Mr. Sawyer. This is seduction."

"One and the same."

Jackson wonders how long they can walk the line before falling to an irreversible end. As he listens to his heart pounding, a deep bass soundtrack to each kiss Wes settles on his jaw, he isn't sure they haven't fallen already.

☆★☆

"Where have you been?"

Jackson looks up as he enters his apartment. He feels like he hasn't been back in years. Caleb stands in soccer gear down the hall, apparently getting ready for the practice they have in an hour.

"Out."

Caleb rolls his eyes. "Obviously. Out where?"

Jackson hadn't been aware they were on speaking terms, let alone telling each other their whereabouts. He wants to shoot Caleb down, tell him it's none of his business, and storm into his room, but just the thought of it makes him exhausted.

"I was with Wes."

"Wes?" Caleb looks confused, then realization flits across his face and he smiles bitterly. "Your boss." His voice is flat. "Classic."

"Jealous?" The moment Jackson says it, he knows it was a mistake. What could Caleb really be jealous of Jackson for right now? He's practically taking over his life.

Caleb lets out a strangled laugh. "Jealous? No. I feel sorry for you."

"I don't need your pity," Jackson says, anger burning on his cheeks.

"Then stop being pathetic." And with that Caleb walks back to his room and slams the door behind him. Jackson had rarely seen him physically demonstrate his anger, and the shock of the sound vibrates like a shiver down his spine.

"Asshole," Jackson mutters, but it lacks the simmer from before. He walks into his room, closing the door quietly. He has that peculiar feeling of floating above himself, or outside of himself. His body goes through the motion of getting dressed, putting on a headband, tying his cleats.

It feels like he's living two lives. One that has no friends, no goals, no ambition. And the other which burns like a forest fire every time Wes kisses him. He wonders if these two lives will ever intersect, and then hopes they won't.

The thought of Caleb and Wes meeting is absurd, even when they were still on friendly terms. He wants to laugh, but like always, he just sighs and grabs his equipment bag, heading out to practice. 

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a/n: thought I'd give you the rest of that lovely scene with Wes and Jackson.....and Caleb got a little mad there...what do you guys think about the story so far?

if you liked the chapter please vote and comment! <3333333