Forgotten Wolf

23 Mates

He looks more than a little uncomfortable. "The mate bond is a sacred thing. It connects two people as one. Through it, mates can recognize each other. Their touch sets off sparks on your skin. Their scent is like a drug that you can't get enough of, and just being near them can settle your emotions."

"Does any of this ring a bell?" his eyes search mine for any signs of recognition.

I give a slight nod. "So I have no free choice in any of this? I'm just supposed to, what? Fold to his will?" I snap, trembling. I've moved right past denial and sailed right into anger.

"Do you feel nothing for him?" Jude asks. The shock is apparent on his face, with sadness in his voice.

"It isn't real," I mumble. "I'm just some puppet on a string." My heart feels heavy, as it registers how the feelings that have been growing in me for him aren't real.

It's all some celestial joke and I'm the punchline.

But they feel so real...

"Is that how you think it works?" Jude scoffs. "Jess," he sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration. "The Goddess doesn't force anything. The mate bond doesn't automatically make people fall in love. It's like a beacon, from one soul to another. It may make you look and take notice of someone you might have otherwise overlooked, but it can't force you to fall in love."

I sit there digesting what he's saying, trying to keep my own assumptions at bay.

Do I love Chris?

I don't know. What I do know is I have stronger feelings for him than I've ever had for anyone else.

"It freaks me out, the effect he has on me," I practically whisper. "I've never been around anyone before who consumes me like he does." The effect he has on me shakes me to my core. I'm terrified to end up like I did before, just a shadow of myself.

"It may be hard to believe, but you have the same effect on him," Jude says with a soft laugh.

I scoff at that notion.

Chris has always been in control of the situation whenever he's around me, whereas I'm a wind swept feather.

"Why me? I don't want this, any of this. I had a plan. I was fine alone," I trail off.

He eyes me skeptically. "How much of that do you actually believe?"

I can only grumble.

Less and less every day.

"I can't be what he want's me to be. I'm not even a wolf. How the hell will I be a Luna on top of a mate?" I drop my face in my hands to hide my shame.

If he knew the truth about me, then he'd never want me. Nothing I can do will ever be good enough.

"And what has he asked of you?" Jude asks with a brow raised.

Touché.

"He hasn't really said anything about any of this, to be honest," I admit with a blush. "You guys are the first to talk about being mates or anything. He's just always there whenever I'm around."

"That's just a difference of cultures, I guess," he laughs. "Wolves are brought up with bedtime stories about mates, much like humans are with Prince Charming. It's introduced early and is something we grow up looking forward to. We look for the signs and aren't scared when it happens. Our wolves often sense our mates before we even set eyes on them."

"Now what?" I ask, feeling defeated.

"You know, finding your mate is one of the biggest gifts in life. It's not a death sentence," he chides, giving me a small reassuring smile. "You could do worse than Chris."