dear diary; CHARLI D'AMELIO ✓

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eleanor ➳

i'm smiling as i sit down at the table that i deemed as our spot. i anxiously fix the ribbon i tied on top of my hair tie. then, i raked my fingers through my curls that were now falling out. my shoulders sink as i realized that i wasted 2 hours last night, curling my hair with a curling iron.

"hi caasi!" charli's voice greeted me.

"hi d'amelio!" i warmly smile at the brunette.

"you look stunning." my face heats up at her compliment. "i'm glad that you're here, but we're not having our date here."

i look up puzzled at her as she extends her hand out to grab mine. i grasp her hand and she pulls me up.

"follow me."

charli skips outside of the library and pulls me with her as she goes. i begin following her step and begin skipping too. she giggles and it truly sounds like the gates of heaven opening up. i continue staring at her. i cannot comprehend that she exists and that she's even talking to me. we keep skipping until charli stops and i bump into her.

"i'm sorry." i mumble to her.

"don't worry about it. now, look." i turn my head away from her face and look out to the view.

i gasp in awe at the landscape. behind the library was a small boardwalk that went about to 1/3 of the lake it was sitting on. on top of the lake was bunches of moss, lily pads with blooming water lilies, and tons and tons of various other plants i didn't know. the view looked like it belonged in a studio ghibli film.

"it's gorgeous." i whisper.

"you are." charli says. i whip my head towards her, my eyes going wide as i realized that she was staring at me the entire time.

"let's walk to the edge of the boardwalk." charli grabs my hand again as we walk.

at the edge of the boardwalk was a lavender blanket laid on the floor, along with a medium sized picnic basket that might be filled with food. we both sat down on the floor and our view was not hindered by the rails of the boardwalk.

"are you going for the cottagecore lesbian aesthetic?" i question charli.

"how did you know? i spent all night on pinterest, looking at boards!" charli tells me and i throw my head back at laugh at her ambition.

"okay. okay. tell me your life stoy, caasi."

"well, d'amelio. i guess i don't make friends because i'm afraid people won't like me. i don't under how people can hate someone before they get to know them just because of their sexuality."i look down as i talk to her, not being able to look into her eyes. i play with one of my converse's shoelace.

"oh. i'm sorry, caasi. why are books so important to you?"

"i guess that i like to be somewhere else for a time. somewhere where i can be someone else, in a different world. free to do whatever i want. maybe it's also the addition of how i like to dream and books allow me to romanticize life." i smile at my shoes as a light breeze blows by.

"that's beautiful."

"thank you." i bring my head up to see charli softly smiling at me. "do you have any food?"

"yes. i have some watermelon slices, grilled cheese sandwhiches, and macaroons." my heart hurts as charli brought my favorite foods.

"i hope we can stay like this forever." i scooch closer to her and lean my head on her shoulder as we watched the wildlife on the lake.

i have so much to tell my diary later tonight.

∞

author's note

i passed my apush exam with a 3, but was it worth it? no. i suffered and for what cost???? one of my favorite teachers not being disappointed in me.