Half a heart, half a crown

F I F T Y F I V E

He took a slight step towards me. There was a small brim of tears visible in his eyes. Slowly and painfully, his eyes were red. There was such intensity in his eyes that made me feel nervous and uneasy. All I could see was disappointment and — pain.

"Not like this..." he shook his head, "....not on my birthday..."

Surprise courses through me, today is his birthday? I was shocked and just— guilty. I stayed still, unable to move nor speak. As much as I wanted to move my lips, something wobbled in my throat, blocking me from uttering words.

"You." His once dead silver eyes stared at me with so much love.

"You, half loved me," I could feel his heart ripped into pieces, "but the other half of your heart—wanted my throne."

There he had said it. I, indeed, half loved him. Instead of grieving over it, he should have appreciate it. A monster like him.... does not deserve any love let alone even a little bit.

My grip on the sword tightened: partly, to stop myself from shaking; partly, to stop myself from crying.

"I should have known." He chuckled dryly, the pain in his voice, somehow did not move me, this time, not even a little bit.

I watched as he eyed the fallen pieces of plant on the cold hard ground. The plant that he had planted just for me, the plant that could not grow in a cold country, finally grew in one. He had put all his efforts into this just to make me happy, and I—I hurt him.

"I knew this all along, Magnificent Dillionio...." his teary gaze stared into mine, "I—just—I could not stand you leaving me, I cannot stand it. And so I tried to find endless reasons for you to stay, with me, for me. I knew you decided to stay, not because of me, but because of my throne and crown. Although it was selfish of me to keep you here, I should have known that the selfish one was you."

I stayed silent. Truthfully, my heart—breaks.

I watched as he never once looked away from my brown eyes. I was staring at him too, with no emotion. I do felt something—heart breaking, but I hid it inside of me. I wanted him to know that I meant every word I had said. I really do mean it.

Surprisingly, he grabbed the end of my sword with one hand and brought it to his chest, close to his chest. He did not flinch as the sharp side dug slowly into his flesh. I watched as the fiery red blood dripped slowly, filling the silence between us.

None of us took a step back.

"Before you kill me..." his lips formed into a small sad smile, "I wanted to tell you that I, had never felt such affection towards anyone else but you. You had changed me, shaped me into a better human. You made me want to stop shedding blood of others, of myself. You made me feel loved again. I knew you were going to mess up my life from the first time I saw you. That was why I despised you so much, you knocked something in me, I felt as if my heart beat once again after—god knows—how many years. You woke me up from my nightmares and I'll be damn to let anyone take you away from me, not Antonio, not him, I have to make sure of that."

I wished I could unsee the closed-wound he is willing to open...for me.

"And you know what?" His eyes set hard on mine, "you had saved me but not only had you saved me, you had also killed this heart at the same time. I thought I was crazy over losing Angelica but the truth is, I was desperate for her care again, and when she's gone, all I could think of was hurting her, making her feel what I had felt. That was when I met you. While I was busy finding the woman whom I wanted to damage her just like what she did to me, I found you."