A story through Jade's lens : Loving Perrie

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In January of 2015, Syco Music, her label, demanded that she go into therapy and get ready for the Grammys, she'd been nominated for six awards. " I wanted her to experience the Grammys in her time. I didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready. And she wasn't ready for therapy,"Jade says. "she called me crying from the studio booth, telling me what the pr manager told her. She was sobbing, screaming over and over how fine she is, how she didn't want to go and other things like that. I couldn't help her. I felt like shit. They even threatened her to drop her. I remember holding her in bed, when she told me "I just wanna make music. Thats all." There was nothing I could do.

"I wanted her to experience the Grammys happy." Thirlwall says. "And she told me she did-although it wasn't easy", she says. "We watched movies, played cards. We'd go to the gym. But looking back on it, I still don't think it was the right thing & time for her. Things should have been her way."

On the night of February 7, 2015, Perrie won  five Grammys, including Best New Artist and Song of the year ( for "Dandelions" ). She was "dumbstruck" when she saw Steve Perry on the screen announcing her award for Record of the Year. "He was the be-all-end-all to her, do just to hear him say her name was overwhelming" says Jade.

It was an emotional night for her, too; she says "One of the only times I've cried tears of joy in my life is when she won." From the stage, Perrie thanked "my Jade, my lovely Jadey".

There were times, she says,before she realized her feelings about Perrie, many wondered if they were more than friends. They were so close that, on many nights, they slept in the same bed. " I think that when you have that kind of connection with someone it can be confusing" she says. "With everyone around us questioning the closeness of our friendship, it took away the innocence of our love for one another. She loves with all her heart , and i think that made people wonder what was happening between us."

The romantic rumors that swirled around Perrie and Jade made their way into the tabloids. "To us, we were friends who loved each other. It was simply us. Nothing more and nothing less. I knew i loved her but then i just realized i was in love with her and she was in love with me. We didn't care about anything else. We knew that we had each other and that was enough for the both of us".

Meanwhile, Dedication had become the U.K.'s top-selling album of the century, and Perrie was becoming increasingly rich and famous. She had every reason to be riding high, but as 2015 wore on,her anxiety was becoming a cruel punch line for late-night comedians. She was showing up late to concerts, disappointing her fans. She was exhausted, performing show after show she didn't want to do. She wasn't ready. In September of 2015, in a interview after a concert at Bestival on the Isle of Wight, she admitted, " It wasn't my best work and I am very aware of it and  angry about it. "

So far, so honest. However journalists gave her a hard time. "Perrie's style, was tedious after five minutes, let alone an hour and five minutes, and her rich, mature tone was poorly served by her vocal style. Edwards over-sang mercilessly like she was just another competent Pop idol wannabe, mistaking vocal acrobatics for sophisticated soulful interpretation. By the time she had finished mangling each track, any melody which might have asserted itself was totally exterminated."