the bucket list | lrh

21 - lost you for good

"Be good," Mary whispered as the girl passed, making sure that Luke wouldn't hear it.

"Mmhm," she hummed in response, keeping her eyes averted as she met the blonde in the hallway. The sound of Mary's bedroom door closing was one Valentine never realized would be at the expense of her composure.

When the two were alone in the guest room, Valentine could feel her heart beating hard enough for the neighbors to hear. Luckily for her, Luke was deafened by his own heartbeat.

"I just uh... I wanted to say I'm sorry." As Luke ran his fingers through his messy curls, Val could've sworn she saw a hint of fear flash across his face. Had she known no better she would've dropped to her knees with forgiveness then and there. But she did know better, and she knew that she couldn't let Luke think everything was okay.

"Sorry?" The girl questioned, as if she had no clue what the word could possibly mean. In this situation, she almost didn't. A large part of her just wanted him to repeat the words, though she'd never admit that to him. Luke hated repeating himself, and she was beginning to notice.

"Yeah, Val. I'm sorry for... I don't know... I was an idiot."

As the boy spoke, Valentine found her way over to the edge of the fully made queen sized bed in the center of the room. She had a feeling she'd need to be seated for this conversation. Luke felt quite the opposite, though. The blonde assumed that if he didn't keep pacing around the room, he might lose absolutely all of the calm he once had.

"I don't get it," the brunette huffed, leaning her weight back so that she was comfortable. "What don't you get?"

There were many answers to that question. Valentine was confused about so many things, she didn't even know where to start.

"You..." she began, unsure if it was the right moment to unleash all of her questions on the man who already seemed so uptight and tense in her presence.

"I'm sorry, I know," he grumbled in response, feeling an immense frustration at the fact that he couldn't explain himself properly. Well, he could. But there's no telling how that would end up for him.

"Look, Luke. I don't wanna fight."

"Me neither!" Luke cursed himself for coming off so eager and desperate, but Valentine thought it was just a tiny bit adorable. The way he'd rushed the words out had her head spinning. So much so that she found herself silently wondering if he could ever do something to change her mind about him. 

"Good, then we won't fight?" The girl asked, sounding extra childlike with her cadence.

"No... we won't. I'm really sorry."

"What are you sorry for, Luke?" She couldn't help herself. She had to know which part of their previous argument had him feeling so guilty. She hoped it'd be that he'd said she was just Adeline's little sister, but she kept her hopes to a minimum because Luke was full of surprises.

"Being such an asshole to you back at the party. I didn't mean to—"

"Why were you?" She interrupted.

Luke was speechless. The girl had shown so much strength and attitude in just one short night, and he felt like he might die from the pressure it was putting on him. He never thought he'd feel so intimidated by the girl, though he didn't let it show very much.

"I don't know... I felt bad. And you shouldn't be at parties like that... and you were drunk, I just thought—are you still drunk?" He cut himself off, asking the question as he examined the girl who was sprawled out across Mary's guest bed.