The Girl She Knew

Chapter Fourteen: Never Looked Better

~Riley's POV~

When Johanna went to get Rosie's moms, Amelia went to find the boys. Rosie's moms bombarded me with kisses and the kindest of words, but I could see that they were holding back tears.

"Your dad is close," Mrs. Roxanne said.

"I know," I replied.

"We can go, if you don't want Wren to--" Mrs. Janet said.

"No no. Make my sister as uncomfortable as possible."

"Ri," Rosie said," we can't do that."

"No if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like me, and she doesn't need to be here."

"Riley!!" Rosie said looking absolutely shocked.

"Riley, sweetie, I know it's tough. But she loves you. I promise. She just doesn't understand..." Mrs. Roxane stated, trying to console me.

"Not many people do," Mrs. Janet joined in.

"Yeah Ri... I'm sure she'll come around some day," Rosie insisted, with a soft smile.

"Well some day is going to turn into too late really quick."

Rosie gulped and ran her hand through her hair for what must have been the five hundredth time today. Mrs. Roxanne put her arm around her, while Mrs. Janet took my hand in her's.

"Riley. It's all going to be ok-" she tried.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Janet, but I can't take that right now."

"Right. I'm sorry."

"No.. Don't be," I sighed," that was harsh. I'm sorry."

"It's okay sweetie."

I nodded and sank back into my pillows. Rosie reached out for my free hand and I grasped it tugging her towards me.

"How bout Momma Jan and I leave you two alone for a bit." Mrs. Roxanne said, pulling Mrs. Janet towards the door.

"Yeah Momma Rox. Good idea," Rosie smiled, making sure the door was closed behind them.

She crawled up into my bed, and laid herself carefully down next to me, "If you love me so much, don't let go," she mumbled.

"I would say I'll never let go, but I'm not Rose. That's you, heh," I smiled slightly, trying to make her do the same.

"Well you're not Jack either. I'm not letting you let go. You're gonna survive this. I don't care what the stupid doctors say."

"Rosie-"

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong."

"But honey you are... You're going to have to let me go."

"Nooo," she had been trying for some time to hold back her tears, but it seemed she just couldn't do it anymore. She burrowed her face in my shoulder as the tears started to flow.

"Hey... Stop that, my Rosie doesn't cry like that."

She scoffed and spoke, her voice slightly muffled from her current position, "You must have the wrong Rosie then, cause this one cries every ten minutes." I laughed a little, Rosie could be one to turn on the water works.

"Well still, dry it up. I don't want to watch you cry... Not to be cliche or anything. But do you know what the hardest part of all this is?"

She shook her head,"No."

"Well... The hardest part of this, is leaving youuuuu," I sang (it was a line from some stupid My Chemical Romance song I used to listen to a lot).

I felt her smile,"Now's not the time for that."

"What better time is there?" I smirked. Unlike most people I wasn't scared of dying, I was just worried of the outcome. I didn't want Rosie to pull a Romeo and Juliet and try to off herself. I wanted my dad to be okay. I didn't want Wren to take over my funeral and make a mess of everything. I wanted to make sure that Amelia and Rosie could work things out. I really didn't want to deny Rosie her dream wedding we'd been jokingly planning since we were fifteen. But all of that would have to be dealt with in its own time.

~

Rosie joined her moms somewhere aside from my room when my family arrived. Johanna led them into my room and entered my father and older sister.

My dad looked tired, he hadn't cried yet thank God. He's a tiny man who looks like he would fall over if the wind was blowing too strong. Wren however is tall and looks like she'd try and kill the wind. When our mom died, dad didn't cope well and managed to leave most of our parenting to an elderly white republican woman and Wren has ended up, as I define her, crazy. I mean he raised us, we lived with him, and he did his best. But he also worked a lot, leaving us with his own mother for fifty percent of our young loves. So now Wren hates anything that isn't 'normal' by our grandmothers means, has devoted her life to staying close to our family, and stays constantly involved in it.  While I, on the other hand, had dreams of my own life and made my own place in this world.

"Riley..." My dad mumbled approaching me, but keeping a rather large distance.

"Hey dad."

"So uh. You. You-"

"I'm dying, yeah."

Wren scoffed,"You did this to yourself."

"What are you talking about?" I said, bringing myself into a straighter sitting position.

"This is God punishing you for all those homosexual-"

"Stop right there. Get out. I don't want to see you again."

She flipped me off and walked out of my room.

"Now dad."

"Huh?" he asked playing with his hands.

"Dad it's okay. I'm going to be okay. Even if I die I'll be alright. Okay?"

"Okay." He nodded. In reality he was more like the skittish family pet than a father. Especially in a stressful situation like this. I could tell this was taking him right back to the day mom died. He was having to relive it.

"I love you dad."

He smiled,"I love you too my Riley," he came closer and gave me a hug,"my sweet, little  Riley." he kissed my forehead, but his eyes were so glassy I could tell he was going ninety miles an hour somewhere off in his own head.

~

After about thirty minutes of awkward conversation my dad went to check in a hotel with Wren. Rosie's moms had gone home with Tobi and made her go to her room to get some rest. Amelia and the guys went back to their respective dorms after my begging them to do so. So I sat with my head on Johanna's shoulder, talking about our freshman year and all our silly freshman plans.

Then my medication started to kick in and I got so tired I couldn't see straight.

"It hurts Jo.." I muttered.

"What hurts Ri?"

"Leaving. I don't wanna let go..."

And then, I blacked out.