Tu Dua Hai

Chapter 20

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
First of all, I am really sorry for being so late and irregular. There was a lot going on in my life. Now I know it's lockdown and you might wonder what can possibly happen in lockdown. But trust me, there are a lot of problems still going on in my life and my family. Also, I just heard the news of the suicide of Sushant singh Rajput. I am extremely saddened by this. He seemed so happy, he was at the peak of his career, successful in almost every movie. But still he was depressed. Usually people think that if you have health, wealth and fame, you are the happiest person in world. But this is a really big misunderstanding. Health wealth and fame are nothing if you don't have love, peace and happiness in your life. He seemed fine, normal being so successful from outside, but no one knew what storms were raging inside. He was already depressed, the suicide of his manager affected him deeply. This might have been the push that propelled him towards his own demise. We may never know. We may never know how our actions affect someone. Our smallest of things might be a big trigger to someone. So be mindful of your harsh behavior. If you cannot be kind to someone, at least don't be harsh or rude to them. You may never know if your action or mere words might push someone towards their death. Depression is a real thing, having suffered it myself, I urge you to take anyone telling that they are depressed seriously. Most of the times, when I told someone that I am depressed, their first reaction was to dismiss it. They thought I was trying to get sympathy or seeking attention or I was just overreacting. Please don't do this. Depression is a real.thing. If someone tells you that they might be depressed help them to get diagnosed and treated properly. Depressed people need all the motivation and support you can give. Sorry for such long rambling. I had to express what I felt. I will stop now. You can enjoy your chapter now.

Darshan reached home after he dropped Gauri off at the hospital. Entering the now empty home, he suddenly felt very lonely. Disha had went back to UK and now his parents went back to Gujrat. His thoughts went directly to Gauri. He realized that he missed having her around all the time. He missed seeing her smile at everyone. Her blue eyes that lit up everytime she smiled. She was so full of life and he was nothing more than a living corpse. He was dead from inside. Everything that was bad in his life was because of Ayesha. He could still remember that day clearly when....
Flashback...
Darshan opened the door with his spare key and entered the empty house. It was late in the evening and the servants had gone home for the day. Darshan looked around and sighed. He had missed this. He had been on a tour for 3 months and he was coming home after a long time. He planned on spending a romantic night with Ayesha. Though he was tired, he decided to make dinner for her as she loved his food. He went to his bedroom and discarded his clothes. After having a warm shower, he got dressed and was about to go out when he spotted some medical files on the bedside table. Wondering and worrying about Ayesha, he checked the file and was shocked. The file was from a maternity hospital. At first he was so happy that he jumped in joy, whooping loudly. Then he checked the next page and his happiness turned into horror. Later that night as Ayesha came home, he had a terrible fight with her....
Flashback ends...
Darshan swore at the memory and banged his fist on a wall in anger and frustration. He needed a drink badly. He just couldn't handle the memories and he wanted to forget everything. So he grabbed the nearest bottle of alcohol and....
Gauri went home early, in a good mood planning for dinner. But her mood was ruined the moment she reached home. She rang the doorbell for a long time, but no one answered which was strange as there was supposed to be servant at home. Even Darshan had said that he was not busy that day and would be working in the home studio. So why was nobody opening the door? Confused, Gauri dug out a spare key from her purse and opened the door. The house was completely silent and empty. Maybe, the servant must have went home early, she thought and walked towards Darshan's bedroom. She was planning to shift all her stuff to the spare bedroom now that there was no one in the house except for Darshan and her. She was thinking about packing her stuff as she opened the door and walked inside the bedroom. The sight that greeted her was horrible. Two-three empty bottles were strewn on the floor and there were lots of pieces of glass spread all over. Gauri looked around and saw a small pool of blood near the washroom door. Suddenly her heart skipped a beat and she carefully walked to the washroom. Sidestepping the pool of blood, she entered the washroom. Drops of blood had made a trail on the stark white tiles and as Gauri traced them, she found Darshan lying in the bathtub full of water with his bloodied hand. There was a deep gash on his left forearm and blood was still dripping from the wound. Darshan was lying in the bathtub, probably unconscious and the water had also turned bloodied. Gauri's heart was now pounding hard and she had started shaking unknowingly. 'No, Gauri, you must not panic. It's going to be fine. You have to help him and he will be ok. Come on.' Gauri's inner voice told her and Gauri took a step forward. Suddenly her medical training kicked in and she looked around. There was a small face towel hanging nearby and she grabbed it. She quickly reached Darshan and still shaking; she gently took his hand in hers and checked for his pulse. It was steady and a little bit low. Then wetting the towel, she wiped of the excess of the blood from his hand. Once the blood was out of way, she could see that though the gash was long and quite deep, it had only affected the muscle area and not harmed any major artery. She knew there wasn't any medical kit in the house so she rushed out and opened her bag. She carried a wad of cotton and some bandages with her all the time for emergency purposes. Rushing back to Darshan, she quickly cleaned the wound with antiseptic and dressed it. Darshan had not even stirred while she was doing all this and she shuddered, thinking about the amount of alcohol he had consumed. It was enough to numb him from pain which was supposed to be excruciating. Gauri concentrated on tying the bandage securely and then plunged her hand inside the tub. Feeling under Darshan, she pulled the drainer which immediately began to drain all the water from the tub. She paused for a moment when she realized how close she was to Darshan. She was suddenly conscious of his large frame, which was emitting heat even though he was completely wet. She had leaned forward to reach the drainer and now she realized that his hot breath was tickling her neck. She stared at Darshan's face. 'Sote hue kitna masoom dikhte hai ye.' She thought to herself and Darshan stirred as if he had heard her thought. He clasped a hand around her waist and pulled her even closer. Gauri froze for a moment, then relaxed as Darshan loosened his grip. She was about to get up when Darshan took her name. Freezing once again, she looked back at him, fearing that he had woken up. But he was still asleep and he murmured something which Gauri didn't understand. She got up, trying to think about she was supposed to get him out of the tub. She was too numb to think why he had cut himself in the first place. She was horrified by what she had seen and she was trying to suppress her panic. So that was why Darshan's parents stayed with his all the time. She realized. It dawned upon her that why Darshan's mother had repeatedly told her to take care of Darshan with so much worry in her eyes and why she had been reluctant to go back to Ahmedabad.

Gauri glanced at Darshan who was soaking wet both with blood and water. Suddenly she felt bad, guilty even. Rajal maa, who loved her like her own daughter had left her troubled and broken son in her care. Rajal maa trusted her to take care of her son and what was she doing? She was betraying a mother, a mother who thought that Gauri was helping her son get better while in reality Gauri was doing nothing. Sighing with regret, Gauri called their part-time driver who knew of Darshan's drinking habit. Gauri knew that he was trustworthy and she didn't want to risk Darshan's reputation by asking anyone else for help. The driver reached within 20 mins and helped Gauri to carry Darshan back to their bedroom. It was no easy task; Darshan was 6 feet tall, with a gym-built body. They heaved him on the couch first and Gauri helped the driver to remove Darshan's outer clothes. She turned a bit red when she saw that Darshan had not worn anything inside his shirt and his six-pack abs showed up. If she was really being honest with herself, she would have admitted that Darshan really looked hot. But she refused to acknowledge the thought and turned away when driver covered the body under Darshan's hip with a towel and proceeded to change his underclothes. She was still red in face as she dressed Darshan in clean and dry clothes and heaved him onto bed with the help of driver. She left driver to cover Darshan with a blanket and towel-dry his wet hair. She took Darshan's clothes and went off to throw them in the washing machine. The driver left after Gauri thanked him for his help and Gauri walked back to Darshan's room. Seeing Darshan in that condition was unbearable for Gauri. Though she was a gynecologist, she had studied enough medical science to know the effect of alcohol on Darshan's body. She could not just stand by and watch her husband ruin his life, even though they had no such relation between them. She had to do something, something to help her husband. Even thinking the word 'husband' seemed to send chills down her spine. She was still digesting the fact that the Darshan Raval was her husband. Someone whose songs she had listened with utmost admiration, someone who was a superstar for her and now was a husband for her. His songs were a kind of magic which never failed to cheer her up. It was as if fate had brought them together for some kind of bigger purpose. Else what were the chances of a mere common girl like her to get married to a superstar, the heartthrob of the nation? Gauri took a deep breath. She wanted to throw out all the bottles of alcohol but that would not stop Darshan from drinking. He would merely order some more or simply go out to drink. That would be a complete waste of money. Being from a middle class family, Gauri still had to adjust to the fact that Darshan was a millionaire. She had to do something else to keep Darshan from drinking. And she would have to gradually reduce his drinking or else his body might go through withdrawals, which was very dangerous. For doing that, she would have to know what exactly triggered him to drink. Was it just an addiction or did he drink to forget something? Or someone? As if answering her questions, Darshan started talking in his sleep. "Please... don't do this to me Ayesha. Please.... Why are... punishing me like this.... love. What have I ever done? Meri konsi... galati ki ... badi saza ... rahi ho tum mu..jhe? Kyu?" Gauri had to lean down to catch his last sentence, but she understood that all of this had something to do with Ayesha, Darshan's first wife. Suddenly, she felt something that she had never felt before. She realized that she disliked the woman even if she was dead. Gauri was surprised at her own feelings. Why was she angry at Ayesha? She didn't even know her. "Maybe, you are jealous of her." Her inner voice told her out of nowhere and Gauri was startled at that. Was she really jealous? But why? Shaking her head, she discarded the irrelevant thoughts out of her head and tried to think of some means to slow down Darshan's drinking. Keeping his busy was one option, but she certainly couldn't keep him busy all the time, she had her own work and she couldn't follow him around everywhere. One of the main agreements between them was that they won't interfere in each other's lives. She huffed, irritated. How was she supposed to help him if she can't even affect him or his decisions? Deciding that she would definitely come up with a plan later, Gauri just changed into her night dress and went off to sleep in the guest room