With a Strum of My Heart Strings

Don't Make Me be the Bad Guy

The blond stepped forward to his friend, motioning for him to sit down. He obliged, and Denki took a seat beside him. "I wanted to talk." He took a somewhat shaky breath before meeting Sero's eyes. "About what happened." Hanta seemed visibly nervous but nodded anyway.

"Yeah, okay." The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Denki felt like he was suffocating in it, like every second that ticked by was an eon.

"Look," Kaminari started, clasping his hands in front of him, "I'm sorry. I just-- I wasn't thinking clearly, and I was having doubts about my relationship. I never meant to kinda bring you down with me. I know I shouldn't have done that, and--" Sero cut him off.

"You mean... Denki, before you continue, I have to ask you something," he said, glancing away for a brief second. Urging him to continue, Kaminari quirked an eyebrow. Carefully, Hanta asked, "Did that kiss mean anything to you?"

Crap.

That was... Denki didn't even know the answer to that question. Maybe it did mean something. Maybe he'd dreamed about kissing Sero for years before he met Shinsou. Maybe his heart swelled in his chest, and it felt like something he'd been missing his entire life. But maybe he hated it. Maybe he felt all of the pain and heartbreak that came rushing back the moment their lips touched. Maybe he felt like it was too little too late. Maybe he was internally comparing it to the kisses he had shared with Shinsou, deciding that he liked the thrill of kissing his ex-boyfriend more, the way their lips seeming fit together perfectly as if they were meant for each other, the missing piece of a puzzle.

Maybe he just couldn't love Sero the way he used to.

"That's... a loaded question, Sero," Denki settled upon answering, figuring saying something like 'I don't know' wasn't the best idea. His friend just nodded in understanding, even though Kaminari knew he couldn't possibly understand. Denki himself didn't even know how the hell he felt about all of this.

Sighing, Sero responded, "Yeah, that's kinda what I expected." He rubbed his temples. He looked just as nervous and frustrated and confused as Kaminari felt. "Look, I'm sorry too," he said, looking him in his eyes. "I shouldn't have just confessed like that. But... it is true, Denki. I wasn't lying about what I said." He gave the blond a sad smile, though his eyes shone with hope. Like he thought that there was maybe still a chance for him. For them.

"I know," was all Kaminari could say. His voice was quiet, unsure of himself. "It's okay, Sero. I forgive you." His friend's smile brightened at that, and he took Denki's hand in his. The blond just froze, torn between leaning into the touch and pulling away. Just like before. God, why did his feelings have to be so complicated?

"I am sorry about you and Shinsou, too, Denks. It was never my intention to--" He cut himself, looking away. Denki felt back the urge to caress his cheek and try to wipe that frown away. He shook his thoughts away and shot Sero a reassuring smile instead.

"I know. It's okay, Hanta," he repeated, finding he had nothing else to really say. Sure, he forgave him, and it wasn't really Sero's fault anyway, but it still hurt nevertheless.

"Denki, I--" Sero paused as if contemplating his next words. "This might be jumping the gun a little bit, but..." He trailed off again and Kaminari gave his hand a slight squeeze.

"Take your time," he said, and Sero nervously simpered until his face fell, suddenly serious.

"Denki, I know you just got out of a relationship, and you might still need time, that's okay." He met his friend's stare, that hope shining in his eyes again. Falso hope. "But do you think we could... go out?" Denki saw this coming, knew he was going to say that, but it still shocked him that he'd actually asked. That he'd actually done it.

And now Kaminari was stuck in a situation he didn't want to be stuck in. He only had two options: say yes and lose the possibility of ever getting back together with Shinsou, or reject his best friend and not only break his heart, but he could also possibly lose him.

Crap.

Crap.

Kaminari looked around frantically, trying to find some sort of escape. He didn't know what to do. How could he make either choice? He didn't want to lose either of them! He couldn't! He just stayed silent, hoping Sero would realize he was feeling pressured and give him an out. He had no such luck.

Sero was very patient, just watching him with soft, warm eyes, waiting for an answer. He didn't push to get one out of him, didn't take his silence as rejection, just waited. And, shit, that made this all the more difficult.

Denki slowly reeled himself in, breathing out a shaky sigh before meeting Sero's still hopeful gaze. The way that spark of faith and optimism was instantly devastated as he spoke made Denki feel absolutely wracked with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Hanta..."