The Memory Jar [Zayn Malik]

Chapter 14: Loving

            Liam purses his lips slightly, though he gives a little crooked smile to go along with it. “It’s inevitable, mate,” he sighs, patting me on the arm a couple times. “Just let it happen. Just be ready when it does.” 

            I let out a sigh, my shoulders slumping in the ultimate position of a defeated man. He’s right, I just need to face up to this and let whatever’s going to happen, happen.

            But I admit it, I’m scared. I’m terrified even, for the day that she does.

            I’m scared to see her lips part in that disbelieving look she sometimes gets, the corners of her mouth frowning down and her bottom lip retreating behind her top. I’m scared to see the way the muscles around her eyes will tighten, and a few lines will appear on her forehead and between her brows in a frown. I’m scared to hear her say that she loathes me for lying and deceiving her for months, the usually soft sound turning fierce and rough, and I’m just plain scared.

            I’m scared to lose her.

            “Where is she anyways?” Liam speaks again, straightening up a bit and looking around.

             Slowly allowing my shoulders to rise again, I look around as well to see that she’s nowhere in sight. Now that I think of it, I haven’t seen her all day really, which is pretty unusual.

            “I’m going to go look,” I tell Liam, rising from my chair and walking to the other side of the house, where another, larger sitting room and a guest bedroom are. 

            She’s not in either, and when I go upstairs to check in her room- and even the other boys’ rooms- she’s still nowhere to be found. 

            For some reason, a little spark of fear ignites in me. What if she got hurt? What if she ran away? Even worse, what if she remembered, before all the other things?

            I try to contain my emotions and stiffly jog back downstairs, double-checking everywhere, even the bathrooms. “Have none of you guys seen Dana today either?” I ask, seeing Harry still cooking, and Louis and Niall watching television, while Liam is still sitting at the dining room table. 

            “Can’t say I have,” Louis calls, and Harry mumbles an agreement. 

            “Niall?” I question, seeing his shoulders turn ridged at the mention of her name. 

            What’s going on with him? Does he know something the rest of us don’t? 

            “Uh, no Zayn,” he says, clearing his throat in an almost nervous way. “I haven’t either.”

            Pursing my lips, I choose to ignore Niall’s strange behavior for now. I’ll have to ask him about it later though. 

            One place I suddenly remember I haven’t checked is the yard. Seeing as it’s cold and dark outside, I’m not sure why she’d be there, but it’s possible. 

            “Dana?” I poke my head outside, trying to peer through the shadows in an attempt to spot her. Please tell me she’s here, I don’t know where else to look otherwise. 

            Just as I’m about to turn back inside, I hear a small voice say, “Here.”

            Turning my head to the left, I see her sitting along the wall of the house in a folding chair, wrapped in a thick blanket, staring up at the sky. My eyes adjusting to the dark, I see that she looks almost sad, and something about that look just makes my chest hurt, I hate seeing her upset in any way.