Strawberry Milk - Jeonglix

26

A week of summer passed with Jeongin and Felix spending time together. The majority of that time was spent listening to music, playing video games and Felix skateboarding while Jeongin watched and drank strawberry milk. It was fun while it lasted, but eventually, Jeongin's younger siblings wanted him to take them to the park and he couldn't escape to Felix's house anymore. They luckily still saw each other, sitting on the swings while Jeongin watched over Poppy, Lucas and Katie, the youngest children who tagged along most often. They ran around the play area like feral children who hadn't been let out of the house in months.

"Who's your favourite one?" Felix teased, nodding his head towards the three of them, shouting to each other as they climbed the monkey bars.

Jeongin scoffed, swallowing a mouthful of strawberry milk. "None of them?"

Felix gasped, "you don't like any of your siblings?"

"I like Seungmin," Jeongin said, "everyone else ignores or teases me."

"Aww, Innie, you let the little children pick on you?" Felix pouted, making Jeongin roll his eyes.

"I'm quiet and I try not to talk at home so I don't let them pick on me, they just do it."

Sometimes Felix forgot how Jeongin was when he first talked to him. He seemed so comfortable around Felix now that the shy, nervous and vulnerable Jeongin he'd first met seemed to disappear. It was upsetting to think he was still that way around other people.

"Oh, what time is it?" Jeongin asked, snapping Felix out of his thoughts.

He fished his phone out of his pocket, "almost four."

"Ah," Jeongin got up from the swing, "I've got to go to therapy, I almost forgot."

"Oh, yeah, it's Monday!" Felix realised, standing up and taking Jeongin's empty carton out of his hand. Jeongin gave him a grateful smile and made his way over to his foster siblings. Felix wasn't too far away and could hear them as he tossed the cartons in the bin. Jeongin was trying to convince them to go home but the were stubborn, wasting no time to start protesting and shouting. They told him they didn't need to listen to what he said.

It annoyed Felix to watch them but he wasn't sure what to do. He'd never had any siblings. He'd never even babysat. He noticed Jeongin's fist tightening around the soldier he took out of his pocket and started to worry, walking closer so he could hear the conversation better.

"Please. We need to go home. I have a therapy session in an hour and I still need to get across town!"

"I don't care! You're a weirdo, therapy is for weirdos!" The youngest girl, Poppy, responded, her hands holding onto the monkey bars over her head as she travelled back and forth across them.

The other girl, Katie, stood at the top of the slide and giggled at her sister's words, sliding down before running back to the ladder, climbing up to show she wasn't leaving either. Lucas was on the monkey bars with Poppy and he started chanting, "weirdo, weirdo, weirdo!" at the top of his voice.

Attention from mothers and other children was turned on Jeongin and his foster siblings. Felix was close enough to one of the benches to hear the gossiping.

"Oh god, that weird teenager is harassing those children. What should we do?"

"Should we get involved? Do we call someone? He shouldn't be around the children. All he does is watch them all day."

Jeongin's head turned in their direction and Felix knew he'd heard them. His heart lurched as he took another step closer to Jeongin and placed a hand on his shoulder. His boyfriend jumped in fear and squeezed his eyes together, knuckles white from one hand clutching his soldier too hard and the other digging his nails into his palms. "Innie, it's ok. It's me," Felix said, moving his hand down and pry Jeongin's fingers away from his palm, scared he would hurt himself but Jeongin didn't stop. "Come over here. It's quiet, ok?" He said, leading Jeongin out of the park gates by his arm and taking him across the road to the skatepark, not caring about the children he left behind.

He sat Jeongin down on the nearest bench and knelt in front of him, placing his hand on his knee but Jeongin didn't seem to like that, pulling away. "Sorry, I'm sorry," Felix retraced his hand, "what's wrong, Innie?"

Jeongin couldn't talk. He wanted to, he wanted to tell Felix he started panicking and now nothing felt real, but Felix felt so disconnected from him. He didn't want to be touched by Felix or anybody. All he could do was stare forward with a blank look, nails digging into his palms and fist closed around the soldier, hoping it would help bring him back, but it didn't. He was too detached.

"Innie?" Felix asked again. He was panicking himself now. He didn't know what was happening but he had an idea it was something to do with what Jeongin told him about. Even so, that didn't help him know how to react or help. All he could do was panic, but he tried to keep it hidden.

Felix was never great at hiding his emotions though. Jeongin could see the panic clearly, but it didn't matter. Felix wasn't real anyway. Felix didn't exist. Felix was foggy. Everything was foggy. He could feel his nails tearing into his skin now. His last piece of reality slipping away as blood ran down his hand, until-

"It's going to be ok, Innie. I'm here. I'm going to stay with you, ok?"

The fog started to clear. When Jeongin blinked, he could see Felix clearer. He could see the tears in his eyes, threatening to overspill at any moment. He could see his freckles painted across his cheeks like daisies in a field. He could see his blond hair being brushed through by a breeze. The sound of birds chirping and the smell of fresh grass. When Jeongin looked at Felix again, he knew he was real. He had to be. He was too perfect not to be.

"Felix," he whispered, grip around his figure loosening and his nails pulling out of his torn flesh. Blood stained his nails but he wasn't looking at that, he was staring at Felix whose tears started to spill, bottom lip wobbling as he nodded in response to his name. "You're real."

Felix nodded quicker, "yes, yes, of course, I'm real. Oh god, are you ok? Please say you're ok, I was so scared."

"How...how long was I out of it?"

"Um, I-I don't- I don't know," Felix wiped away his tears with the back of his hand, "m-maybe ten minutes?"

Jeongin got off the bench, falling to his knees in front of Felix and throwing his arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, please don't cry. I'm ok, I promise."

Felix sniffled, burying his head against Jeongin's neck and wrapping his arms around his thin torso, never wanting to let him go. "W-why are you apologising?"

"I don't know, why are you crying?" Jeongin asked, his own eyes filling up with tears.

"Because- because I was scared!" Felix explained, his head snuggled far into Jeongin's neck now.

"You're going to make me cry too, stop."

"No, don't cry, I'll start crying harder!"

Jeongin burst into a fit of laughter as tears fell down his cheeks. His knees felt too weak to hold him up much longer and he toppled to the side, pulling Felix with him and ending up on his back, Felix lying over him as they both laughed.

"Fuck, I love you so much," Felix mumbled, his head burying itself in Jeongin's neck again.

"I love you too," Jeongin smiled, kissing the top of Felix's head as he stared up at the clear blue sky above him. He sighed at a sudden realisation. "I'm going to have to tell my therapist about all of this now."

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There's still 14 chapters left but I really don't want this book to end :(( I only wrote it for my friend (PanicAtTheWaterpark3) at first because The Underground was too dark for her and she wanted something soft lmaooooo, but yeahhhh. I'm enjoying it. Also, she's gonna hate my next fanfic-

Anyone else order the new album repackage? I did and I'm usually good at saving money but....SKZ love fucking me over hehehe.