Sown

forty-five

"This isn't how I expected to be spending my time in this war."

Hanae turned to look at Onodera. He still rested on his back, hands now clasped on his stomach and eyes shut tight. His sweating and whimpering had died down somewhat but a groan would still escape him whenever the ground shook. She reacted quite the same but instead sat resting on her knees ; it worked to take some of the pressure off of her abdomen yet the uncomfortable feeling remained.

"What do you mean, Onodera-san?"

He allowed his eyes to open, gaze watching the dusty sky before wandering over to catch hers. "You know. I expected to be . . . In the action. Doing something. Not laying here." His head returned to its laid back position, letting out a long wavering sigh.

How long had it been? About 20 minutes had passed since the two had collapsed in their hiding spot, but of course in situations like this it felt like an eternity had passed. Hanae's head was still spinning, her body still weak and her senses clouded over. Despite her impaired vision she found that she could still see just enough to report most of what was happening miles ahead. The red-orange glow that overtook the battlefield had admittedly frightened her for a moment, but the sound of the battle continuing had had an oddly reassuring effect.

"I know what you mean," she admitted. The woman moved closer to her comrade, hands fumbling with hiadate resting on Onodera's now bare left leg. Earlier she had managed to peel back his thigh plating with a final show of strength ; the steel was crushed in like a drink can where the rock rested on his leg but there was enough room for her to have been able to wrap her agemaki tightly around his limb. A flush crept over the male's face when he remembered her apologizing profusely, having to make sure that his genitals were well out of the way of the woven cord when she pulled it taut just below his hip flexor. The makeshift tourniquet was still holding strong and the flesh below it had only just begun to show some discoloration from the lack of blood flow. "I was in this same situation a few months back, rock and everything."

Both were well aware that conversation proved to be a good distraction. "I knew Konoha was destroyed, but I didn't know you were in the middle of all of that."

"Oh yes," she hummed in amusement, groaning when she allowed herself to return to a kneel. "I was having a great time in my field when boom. A piece of a building pinned me down and snapped my arm in half."

Onodera squirmed at the thought of his own bone being snapped, then realized foolishly that his femur was almost definitely in the same state if not worse. "I guess rocks and samurai don't mix, huh, Umu-taicho?"

The ensuing chuckle was painful to both. They took a moment to catch their breath before returning to an awkwardly loud silence. "I imagine you're feeling what I felt back then." Hanae's voice was just more than a whisper. It was less like she was speaking to him and more like she was letting her voice drift into the ether, head lolling as her equilibrium continued to decline. "You go into these things wanting to save everyone, to save the world. I'm sure we all have a little bit of that desire in us. I did the best I could, rescued people. Lost people. Lost everything for a moment." Her body drifted forward momentarily, Onodera's grip pulling her back upright. "Naruto saved us back then too. In these moments you find yourself feeling like you aren't doing enough and just relying on one person to do everything for you. But that's not true. If I know Naruto well enough, I'm sure us being here and being alive is doing more than enough for him. His parents must be so proud of him."

Onodera lifted his head at the sound of a thunderous roar. Like something out of the underworld, he thought fearfully. The screeching grew in crescendo, following the motions of a white sprout stretching into the air. It was huge, appearing like bleached wood, carrying a bulb that spearheaded it's ascent. "T-taicho."

"Hmm?"

"Don't you see that?"

A solemn hum made its way from deep within Hanae's chest. Onodera didn't need to turn to see her ; she fell forward onto her palms, wakizashi that she had been propping herself up on falling onto his lap. "I'm sorry," she slurred breathlessly. It wasn't for lack of trying, he could hear perfectly her throat whistling with each ragged gasp she took. "I can't see much of anything anymore." Her hand scuttled away from the dirt, fingers climbing up his side until it rested over his sternum. Onodera grasped at it harshly, squeezing harder when she began to lean dangerously over him. "I'm still here," she reassured. "I'm not leaving. I'm just tired."

"Tired my ass," he hissed. Onodera relinquished his grip with one hand to cup her chin, maneuvering her head so that she faced him. Hanae's eyes were beginning to bruise, the growing purple standing out against her paling skin still wet with perspiration. Her lips were paling as well, the freckles doting them beginning to stand out too much for his liking. "Why didn't you say you were injured? Is this why you were acting like that earlier? Umu-taicho."

"I'm not injured," Hanae bit back weakly. She willed her eyes open, the brown irises beginning to cloud so faintly that it would be unnoticable lest you stared into them. "I'm tired. Fighting is very different from farming. I can't keep up with the younger generation anymore." Try as she might, she couldn't lift her head away from his hand. Instead, she relaxed into it, remembering how her father would hold her face when she napped. It was so warm, so comfortable.

She could have fallen asleep if Onodera hadn't begun to shake her, teeth scraping together as her lower jaw moved with the action before the rest of her head could catch up. "Umu-taicho, you can't fall asleep! I'm smart enough to know blood loss when I see it, dammit. Wake up!"

Helplessness was an awful feeling. The painful emptiness always managed to find people at the worst moments, leaving you feeling like nothing more than a child, reaching and grasping for anyone and anything that could get rid of the ache. Onodera found himself aching, reaching and grasping at the woman that had fallen onto him. He shook her, probably harder than he meant to, but in his panic he hadn't noticed. He could only see the sick way her head rolled over his armor, hair tumbling every which direction.

He yelled and begged, tugging uselessly at his still trapped leg. What could he do? Nothing. There was no one around, the few people within sight laying just as limply as Hanae with their faces in the dirt. People moved far away, people still standing and fighting. But his voice couldn't reach them, not over the voice echoing in their minds. The voice telling them that they must stop the tree from blooming.

The far figures moved at once towards the center of the battlefield, moving further. Making his helplessness grow. Everyone had a little bit of that wanting in them, the wanting to save everyone, save the world even.

"It's okay."

Onodera lifted Hanae's head once again, looking into her barely opened eyes. Her lips were beginning to grow blue.

"Taicho, keep talking. Just stay awake, keep talking, please."

"It's okay if you can only save one person."

Her voice was so low, low enough that he could barely hear her. She wasn't slurring anymore, but that didn't make him feel better. Onodera could see the strain in her neck as she continued to speak, forcing her words out, making herself be heard. "It's okay if the one person you save is yourself, Onodera-san."