Awaken My Love

What the Heart Wants

Namjoon

I went straight to my room and threw on some clothes. I hadn't really had any time with Aster since we had returned. In all fairness, jet lag is a pain.

I didn't spend too much time primping and it was a good thing because Aster stepped into the lodge just as I came out of my room and walked to the common room.

"Morning," she said, her voice quiet.

"Morning," I replied.

"Um...did you have a good run?" She sat down in a chair and pulled her knees up.

"Yeah. It was good to have my paws in home turf. Did you sleep well?"

"I slept."

I nodded and sat down on the couch. "That's good."

Silence fell between us and I hated every second it lasted. I wasn't sure what to say and I knew staying silent was a bad idea.

Just then we heard a soft meow at the door and Aster perked up, jumping from her chair and scooping something up from the doorway.

"Bobble! Aw, sweet baby," she cooed, nuzzling the furry thing.

I'll be the first to admit I was jealous.

"What's that?"

Aster smiled wide and I felt my heart melt a bit. It had been lifetimes since I had seen that smile, it seemed.

"This is Bobble!"

"Bobble? What exactly is Bobble?"

Aster leaned down and set what looked to be a kitten on the floor. "He's a cat, Namjoon. A kitten to be more precise."

I found myself scowling at the little black fur ball. "Why is his name Bobble?"

"Just watch," she said.

The kitten tried walking across the floor and it's jerky movements and staggering had me almost giggling.

"Don't laugh! He can't help it!" she giggled.

Man, it was so good to hear her laugh and see her smile. If some dumb little kitten could do that for her, I would find a thousand kittens for her.

"He's cute," I finally admitted.

"Isn't he? Reminds me of Coal."

I felt a twinge at that. If anything, it should remind her of me. Not some random panther. When would I have my time?

"I guess he kind of looks like you too. His eyes are bright green like yours," she said softly, scooping the kitten back up into her lap.

My heart thumped. I think that was my pride coming back.

"Are you planning to keep him?"

"Doesn't seem like he has a mama around. So maybe?"

"Mm."

"Do I need to ask permission first?"

I let out a breathy laugh and looked away, leaning back into the couch with my arms folded. "Of course not."

"Well, I'm never sure of my place."

I looked back at her when I heard her dismayed tone. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know if I can be free to do what I want or if I have to answer to you or anyone else. I just don't know my standing I guess."

"Aster, you are free to do whatever you want. You aren't our prisoner. I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear. We just want to keep you safe. That's all. I just ask that you let us know before you go somewhere so we don't panic."