He ruined my career-Fernand x Kliff fanfic *really dumb*

Chapter 2: Hanging out with the Regalians

Fernand fucking ran outta there. He ran for some days really. But of course he didn't camp out like a COMMONER no obviously he stayed at an inn those days of pure fear. His running soon turn to walking. Even after a while of that argument and his fled he still can't calm down on how his sweet movement turned out. He's a bit mad at himself even. He was walking through who knows where, not even he knew at this point, when he heard some sort of skirmish. He heard a yell, a volt of lightning, the sound of a staff, sword clashing, the sounds of a battle. Intrigued, and a tad bit bored, he sneaked behind a tree to take a gander—
Oh fuck. It's the "Delivery Boys."
Fighting some wanted bandits.
He scoffed a bit knowing it's those yeetards again, why bother with them they're the reason he left anyways...but he soon noticed something.
Green mop sliced a bandit up swiftly and easily. A bandit who was heavily muscled and seemed awfully skilled. How could Green mop do this? Is he actually sorta good?
Fernand shook his head.
Wtf? What am I thinking..
He instead turn his attention to Ryuji snob. Damn was he the dirtiest bum he's ever seen. But somehow...by some blessed miracle...Ryuji snob ended a thief's life so quickly. How could he do that, so quickly?
Creepy bish dodged every attack given. Like some goddess on a pegasus. She's just some filthy girl, how could she be better than a rich man who was taught vigorous training? Levi fruck dashed on his horse and stabbed the enemy like it was a doll. Why could he? How could he maneuver without difficulty? And albino fruck. Albino fruck literally critical every hit he got. No one could even land a hit on him. And if they did, he'd dodged it. What enchanted curse does he have on him that makes him so perfect? What in the blasphemy hill is going on here???!!¡¡

Fernand turned around quickly. He breathed heavily. And hugged the tree from behind. He was in denial with himself and prolly was having a breakdown. He ran as far as he could, if they saw him, who knows what could happen to him—

"Ah! What am I thinking! Those dirt can't do anything to me!" He cursed himself as he ran. But then he fucking fell over a tree root in the process. Instead of getting up he just layed there for a bit. Just layed in thought or for something to happen.

"Hey! Lol! Who's that?!" Some guy yelled from far away. Fernand honestly didn't care who this was, be it a commoner, a Regalian, or frickin Alm. He's just done with life.
"Lmao i dunno."
He heard footsteps approaching him, with some clanking of metal too. A soldier perhaps?
"Is he dead??"
One of the men turned Fernand around to see his face which Fernand let him and the two were suprised.
"It's Fernand!"
The two soldiers stared down at him.
"He's with the Delivery Boys, remember?!"
Fernand smirked at this rather sadly.
"Not no moar."

The soldiers were Regalian, and took Fernand to the rekt up Zofian castle that big daddy Desaix took over. He was up there laughing his big fatty rolls off when they brought FerDAD in.

"Lol guess what Sir, we found a rebel in the forest. It's Sir—erm, it's Fernand Sir."
Fernand was kinda triggered that the guy didn't refer to him as Sir Fernand like everyone does but he feels like shit right now so he lets it pass.

"What really?" Said big daddy Desaix.
"That guy is Clive's big boi right?"
Desaix laughed in between his big turkey legs.
"Lol what's he doing in the woods all by himself??"
Fernand looked up at this ball menacingly.
Is Lol a common phase in Regalia or something?
"Look, I'm not a part of that..Delivery Boys anymore. So just let me go."
Desaix munched on his turkey leg the size of West Virginia.
"Lol do you really think I'm gonna believe that Fernananad?"
Wtf nickname is that? Is that suppose to intimidate me?
"Sir Desaix, I'll tell you everything that happened, okay? Think of it like a little movie while you eat your diabetic disaster of a meal."
Desaix took a gulp of Mountain Dew Red that covered his beard and dirty the beautiful throne.
"Sure."

"So...they got Mycen's grandson and you're triggered about that cause he's some poor fruck that your fellow noble knights so casually let in."
When Fernand heard it from someone else's mouth—even if it weirdly was from his once enemy—it sounded really childish. That and also a bit r00d and unnecessary. But he nodded firmly.
"Uh-huh."
"Well I'm triggered too!"
He munched and threw crumbs everywhere. Fernand was stunned for a sec. Him and his enemy thought alike? Well, not like he was his enemy anymore.
"Yee, that's totally unetiquette n'stuff. Totally uncalled for."
Fernand watched the chancellor munched on his Red frosted cookies.
"Yeah...it..was?" Fernand realized he questioned this. Why did he?
"Well Fernand, I greatly understand where you're coming from. You want a better leader, and boy do I got what ya need."
Desaix somehow got up from the throne without falling and made his way to some big ol' doors. Fernand tried his best to stay a bit away from him to not get turkey grease on him. Big daddy Desaix gestured Fernand to open the door to where he did.
A small swelling of worry in him of 'wtf did i just get myself into'.
He opened the door to a giant ass ballroom too big for just one pair of dancers like wtf. There was this guy with a bad bowl haircut dancing with a gurl with long blue hair. They were dancing to some opera classical music. Ah, yes, very noble indeed, finally some good frucking food. But wait, there isn't no instruments with players anywhere? That's when Fernand noticed the big boom box in the corner hidden away or else it'll destroy the atmosphere. O...kaaaay...that's a bit of a downer but at least they dance like nobles and not like dirt rats.
The moosic stopped and they looked at Fernand. Fernand stared back awkwardly till he heard a big slap of armor against the door from Desaix who sang a parody of this little light of mine.
"This little guy of mine~ HE'LL MAKE ZOFIA DIE~ MAKE IT DIE MAKE IT DIE MAKE IT DIE"

"They think he's Mycen's grandson??"
And for the 100th time of telling the story Fernand said, "Yee."
"That's so fucking stupid." Laughed Beek00t.
"YES👏IT👏IS👏" Fernand cried and clapped. Finally, people with the same mindset as his. He feels as if he's getting control of himself again after hanging out with the Regalian dudads. He lost himself back in the forest, but now he knows that yes, he was right all along.
"TRUE👏ER👏WORDS👏CAN👏NOT👏BE👏SAID👏LORD👏BEEK00T👏"
Clapped Fernand.
"Clive is s0 dumb." Beekoot smirked.
"Everyone thOt he was s0 smart but nAh he be FUcKIN dumb."
Berkoot shook his head in pleasure.
"Lol the Delivery Boys are dead. All of Zofia will belong to tha empire."
Berkoot looked up at Blue haired gurl.
"Yo Rinea."
"Yee?"
"Your BEST BOI BEEKOOT is gonna fuckin conquer the whole frickin continent and we're gonna barbecue like there's no sweet baby ray's."
"Ah...alright."
"IT HAS BEGUN😈😈😈" Beekoot smirked.
Fernand didn't know what tf he was witnessing but whatever, it was a cool drama show to watch.
He was with the Regalian dudes and he's well, alright with it. The Delivery boys to their suprise took over the castle and Beekoot lost his nuts.
"What the FFFFFFF how in the FRUCKETY FRUCK did they SURVIVE??!??!"
Berkoot whined.
Fernand listened to this and thought of it as his own thinking like he did when he watched their skirmish back then.
"I sincerely relate to you there my lord."
Ugh, how he hated calling other people higher than him.
"They really just can't seem to die huh."
"I KNOW RIGHT?!"
Beekoot breathed like a child not getting his minecraft pickaxe. Fernand noticed that too. Yeah he thought his other leader was a loser, but 'dunno maybe this guy may be even worse. Sometimes he wondered if he sounded like this before.
"I think we should attack them again. Give them a bit of payback."
Berkoot glanced up at em.
"I'll personally go there myself."
Fernand said a bit proudly.
Beekoot looked at him like he honestly didn't care.
"Sure why not dude."
Beekoot slugged in his chair messing with a toothpick.
"Tell me how it goes, and maybe I'll step in the fray too."
Fernand nodded, "Hopefully you won't have to Sir."
And Fernand walked out of Beekooteekoot's room.

"Geez, what a prick."
He shook his head.
"Like a child to an extreme..."
He doesn't know whether this outcome is better than before, but hey, at least he's surrounded by fancy rich people so he's fine. Now, time for revenge. Instead of watching from afar, he'll be stabbing good ol' green mop and Ryuji snob and all his filthy friends. They won't even land a hit.
"Revenge...yes, here comes revenge.."