18: Origin

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I went home and saw Emily's car at my house. I walked on my porch and said, "What are you doing here?"

She looked up and said, "I never got to tell you everything."

I sighed and opened the door.

She walked in and said, "Wow it's really empty."

I laughed and said, "Yeah since today is my last night here. I wasn't going to stay here tonight but I needed to be on my own for one last night."

Emily touched my shoulder in a comfortable way and said, "I understand."

I moved away and she grabbed my shoulders and turned me around and hugged me tightly.

I didn't know what to do but I just hugged her back and cried.

We pulled away and I could see she was crying too and I said, "I don't think I have ever seen you cry."

She laughed while wiping her tears away.

She took a deep breath and said, "Will you come with me to Rossi's. We need to tell you the truth."

I looked around my empty house and knew that I honestly couldn't sleep in this house anymore so I agreed to go to Rossi's.

I joined Emily and Rossi on the couch and was ready to hear the truth.

Emily started, "The beginning of the story is all true. Yes, I did give you up for adoption but, not because I wasn't ready or didn't want you. I gave you up because Samuel was threatening me that if I kept the baby he would hurt me."

I looked at her and confirmed, "So... you did it to protect me and yourself."

She nodded and continued, "Even though I didn't get to see you when I gave birth but I did find you in the NICU and saw the name your adoptive parents gave you, Alexandra Montgomery, I memorized that name for the rest of my life."

Rossi then began, "The 2001 Foster Care Scandal didn't start in 2001 but ended then. It started in 1950, and Jason and I didn't get the case until 1999. We've been tracking the Montgomery's for a while and came very close to saving you and everyone else but someone kept stopping us."

"What do you mean someone kept stopping you," I asked?

He sighed and looked at me and said, "You."

"Me," I said surprised and said, "I was only what three?"

"You were four but you actually came up to me when we were watching them and said, 'You've been watching us for two days in a row at the same spot. I must tell my father but if you leave now I won't.' and walked away. Jason and I knew you were different from the others. You had somewhat some trust in one of us to go straight to us instead of Mr.Montgomery."

I kinda remembered the frequent visits to the park with my brothers. I was four so I can't remember much.

Emily said, "When we moved back to the U.S. I doubled majored in college to join the FBI with my mother. I was able to join at an early age and I worked hard to join the BAU in 2002. When I joined Jason was struggling to find your biological parents and he frequently had you in the office."

Rossi laughed, "You had a spirit that lifted everyone. You would be running all around and we would just laugh when Jason finally notice you were gone."

Emily laughed and said, "Everyone teased me saying you looked a little bit like me but everyone called you Alex and not Alexandra so I never really made the connection. But, when Jason passed away and Rossi was not here it was me who stayed with you until he was supposed to show up."

Rossi said sadly, "And as you know I never did come."

I put my hand on his and gave him a sympathetic look because I did understand why so I said, "You don't have to blame yourself. I forgive you."

Rossi sighed and said, "But it's my fault that you had a hard childhood growing up."

I sighed and said, "If I am being honest. I don't remember who really was supposed to take me after Jason died. I kinda don't remember much about Jason but I've read his journals to keep myself at least somewhat like him."

Emily smiled and said, "You are just like him: brave, strong, smart, and an amazing profiler. He taught you everything and even though you can't remember him you remember his lessons."

She hugged me and I smiled and said, "Continue..."

Emily laughed and said, "Okay."

"As we were waiting for Rossi it was late at night and I offered to keep you so that you wouldn't be in a stranger's house. As I was filling out the paperwork I saw your full name was Alexandra and I kinda freaked out. When I brought you to my home I asked you if you knew anything about the beginning of your life. You told me that you were adopted from Afganistan and moved to America when you were about two weeks old. I knew that you were my daughter."

I looked at Emily and asked, "Then why didn't you keep me?"

She sighed as a tear rolls down and said, "Even though I knew you were my daughter I couldn't accept the fact that I abandoned you years ago and I couldn't just take you back."

I knew what she meant was she wasn't ready to have me still. I looked down and Rossi said, "That didn't mean she didn't want you. When I never showed and CPS took you Emily beat me up and told me everything."

"It's true," Emily said wiping her tears, "I desperately wanted Rossi to take care of you so I could still be in your life, but I think it was for the best."

I shook my head and said, "Emily, you made have had a hard time fitting in because you moved around a lot but at least you had the same mother. Even if you didn't see her every day you had the satisfaction of knowing your mother. I had to learn how to fit in at new schools and families."

I sighed and Rossi took my hand and said, "You made a choice to leave your past and create your future and that is what makes you, You."

I smiled and said, "Emily, don't feel guilty about giving me up because I knew you did it for the best. But, I want to get to know you and at least have some sort of a mother like a figure from you if that is okay with you?"

She didn't say anything but then, "I am not the motherly type of person Alex, I won't be any good for you."

I stood up and said, "Nonsense, you have the motherly instinct and love gesture in you but you hide it behind a shield of toughness and bravery. It's time for you to finally let your guard down."

Rossi said, "You definitely have the fight of Emily."

Emily laughed and said, "Also the hard-headedness of her father but the heart of Jason."

Rossi smiled and looked up at me, took my hand, and said, "He would be proud of you."

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