Drowning

Sixteen;

As I laid in my bed, my phone began to vibrate for the third time that day. I turned it over on the bedside table, to check who it was, though I already knew.

Ignored.

Lauren was staying with Zack for a few days, meaning I had the entire apartment to myself. Meaning that, at 2pm, I was in bed, and not doing something productive, or pretending to, at least. I'd been doing this for three days now. My days were spent being a slob, and my nights were spent working. I'd been picking up some extra shifts, just for the extra cash, and because I had nothing better to do. I always found myself working more when I felt down. It was a good distraction, and allowed me to have a reason to hate myself. Mike was a reason to hate myself, along with the rest of the perverts that attended that nightclub.

My phone vibrated again, except this time it wasn't a phone call, it was a mere notification. I picked up my phone and looked at it.

Voicemail.

With a sigh, I opened it.

"It's Harry. Look, Zar, I know I've already called three times today, but I'm worried, okay? You just left in the night last week. I haven't heard since. I just- will you call me back? Or text me, at least? Just gotta know that you're okay. Thought I'd give you a few days to call, I didn't wanna seem weird or clingy. But you just disappeared. Uh, so yeah. Sorry to call."

With a sigh, I deleted the voicemail, placed my phone back onto the nightstand, and pulled my duvet over my head. I just needed more time. More time to think over his voicemail. More time to decide what to tell him, without sounding too harsh, too cruel.

I just needed time.

-

I awoke again at 6pm. My nap wasn't intentional, but it wasn't unintentional, either. I wasn't working tonight, thankfully, so my body just needed to catch up on some rest.

After climbing out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen. The best part about being alone, was that nudity was fine. It was fine with Lauren, to an extent, but she always had somebody in and out. Whether that be students, or Zack. But now, I was completely alone, completely naked, and it was complete bliss.

I turned on some jazz music, and began to cook and dance in the kitchen. I felt carefree for the first time in a little while.

But, just as I was getting quite into my solo-cooking-dance-party, there was a knock on the door. My eyes widened and dread filled my entire body.

I had a bad, bad feeling about that knock.

It had to be Harry. It just had to be him. Who else would it be? I'd been ignoring him, completely. He said he was worried. Of course he'd just show up here, unannounced. Of course he'd do that!

I was stuck in contemplation; did I let him in? Did I pretend to not even be home?

"Just a minute," I call out, running into my bedroom to throw an oversized tee on.

Once that was done, I ran back out to the living room. I stood by the front door for some moments, before cracking it open, just slightly. Just enough to see if it was him.

It wasn't.

"Salma?" I say, surprised, shocked, perhaps even slightly appalled.

"Can I come in?" she asks.

I nod, uncertain and nervous. I stand aside, and my sister walked carefully into my apartment.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, my stomach doing flips from anticipation and anxiety.