In Love With A Nanny (Haylor AU) (#Wattys2015)

Learning More About Each Other

Learning More About Each Other - 5

“I just did what I had to do at the time and the bond which I have with your little girl now just makes everything so much more worthwhile” I say smiling down at my hands and thinking about all the times which Olivia and I have had together  over the years I’ve looked after her. She is an absolutely incredible little girl and I always feel that I have a privilege looking after her every afternoon of the week like this. 
“She’s very lucky to have someone like you in her life, in fact we both are. You pulled me out of a hole which I could have fallen into and gotten myself into a right mess, I don’t know how I will ever be able to actually repay you for that” Harry leans over the table and takes my hand in his giving it a squeeze. I honestly feel goose bumps up my arms from his touch – it’s the effect which he has on me. I smile sweetly at him and really I just can’t get over the fact that I’m here at a beautiful French restaurant with him on what I see as a date. He’s beginning to really open up to me and I can see a completely different side to him right now which I’m not complaining about at all. I rather like this side of Harry, he’s more vulnerable and raw than he usually is which is why it’s really touching to experience. It draws me to him more and really makes me like him as I can really get an understanding of how much I mean to him whilst also knowing how much he means to me. 

Harry and I discuss a large array of things over dinner, he went into depth over what his company does and why he has had to fight so hard for that company since Claire passed away. I really felt for him when he told me that there had been days for him that he honestly didn’t want to do any of this anymore, he didn’t want to continue on with his life and struggle like this anymore. I knew that exact feeling which he was talking about and it was mainly because of everything which I had to go through with my ex Jake. He had been rather violent with me at times and there was more than one occasion where we’d had the cops round to his place when I was over because the neighbours had heard my screams.

But I knew that Harry’s story was different as he had the motive to end things so he could be with his wife again, he wanted to have his Claire back again. I had only the motive that I wanted to get away from Jake and everything which I had been through, leave all the hardships in my life behind. It had been the only way which I had been able to see me actually getting out of all of this mess was ending my life but looking back on it now I’m ever so grateful I never went through with it.

I have multiple scars over my body from the times with Jake but none of them were more obvious than the one on my side where I had 15 stitches as Jake had slammed me on a glass table which broke underneath me and also broke my back. When Harry had talked about wanting to end his life I had thought about all of this and had to hide the tears from Harry as I knew if he saw me crying he would feel bad or wonder what was wrong and I just couldn’t talk about it right now. Harry and I had also talked about Olivia a lot for the need of a better topic, we’d talked about all the different things which we’d seen her learnt to do and experience in the years which I’ve been around though even in the time which I hadn’t be around before that.

Olivia is such an incredible little girl and from the way which Harry would talk about her I could tell that he was really proud of her and how she was his daughter. I was also so proud of her because I felt touched that she looked up to me and wanted me to stick around with her. Harry had told me the discussion which he had with Olivia a couple of nights ago with Olivia being worried that I would be leaving her now that Harry had been coming home earlier and everything else. It was so clear to me that she really loved me and that was just as much as I loved her. I looked at Olivia like she was my daughter even though I knew that she wasn’t, she was the closest think which I had to a daughter.