the rest of the party was uneventful you could say, mainly because nothing could quite compare to what had just happened to me. poppy threw up and needed to get dropped home by me but that's about it. the usual. i didn't see timothée for the remainder of the night either. he was probably somewhere acting cool and collects as per, leaving me feeling hot and flustered and extremely uncomfortable. i came home late and was left in my bed, alone and confused. it almost felt comforting to know that timothée was right next door to me, literally metres away. i wonder if he was thinking about me. probably not, i wanted to slap myself at the fact i was even thinking about him. the fact i wanted to get inside his head and know what he thought about me. i knew so little about that boy and yet i find myself drawn to him every time i see him.
i woke up in the morning with a headache, as i do every time i drink.
"you enjoy the party?" my mum asks as i enter the kitchen, scouring it for some food to cure my dreadful hangover.
"meh. it was okay," i shrug. play it cool jude.
"sounded like fun, you could barely walk when you came through the door!" my mum giggled. i choked on the apple id just bitten into, she clearly meant i couldn't walk on account of my drunkness but my mind instantly wandered to the other reason i may not have been able to walk.
the day was boring, i lounged around, had a couple naps to sleep off the night before and by i'd done all that it was the evening.
"hey j! take the dog out will you?" my dad shouted from upstairs. ugh. im a cat person personally and walking my dog is the last thing i wanted to do but i begrudgingly got out the lead and put on my shoes.
"i'll see you in abit!" i shout over my shoulder as i walk out, zipping up my hoodie the second i feel the cool breeze hit my chest. i live right by the local park so i didn't really need to walk far or do much, just walk a couple of minutes and then sit on a random bench- let him run around.
but to my surprise, and probably not the readers as i'm sure you saw this coming, my usual seat was taken.
"hey jude."
"hi timothée," i reply nervously, trying to downplay my shock that i've just seen him here. he was sat with his earphones in, cigarette in hand.
"what are you doing out?" he asks me. stupid question. i gesture to my dog, who had ran onto a field not too far away, he nodded knowingly.
"you shouldn't do that you know, it's bad for you," i tell him, making another gesture, this time to the cigarette.
"a lot of things are bad for you," he says, in all seriousness, before laughing at the sheer cringe of what he's just said. he patted the bench he was sat on and asks me to come sit down with him, i walk over and perch myself on the opposite side of the bench. too embarrassed to want to sit closer.
we sit there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, watching my dog prance about on the grass infront of us. i begin to regret the other night.
"you know, about the other nigh-"
"no," he interrupts me, "if you're going to say you wish it didn't happen, or it was a mistake, don't, because i don't and i don't want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed or anything," he blurted out. i blush instantly, he sounded so nervous. there was a slight crack in his voice and he spoke so fast i could barely make it out. i scanned my brain to think of a question to ask him, something to break the ice, change the subject. anything to take away the awkwardness i was feeling right now.
"why'd you move here t?" the second i said this i regretted it, what a personal question. his brow
furrowed, he was thinking. i so badly wanted to know what was going on in that head.
"my dad, he cheated on my mum," he said calmly with no emotion that i could read written on his face.
"fuck. i'm sorry that was such a personal thing to ask please ignore it i'll forget you ever told me," i whisper in shock. obviously it was me to mess it up by asking that.
"don't be sorry. it's my dad that's a dick not you. my mum made him leave his job since that's where she worked and pack up and move away," he replied, shrugging it off so nonchalantly like it was nothing.
"good on her," i laughed and he joined in. it was the first time i feel like i'd got something right with him, like i didn't mess it up by saying something stupid.
we talked for another half an hour before my mum called me, asking where i was.
"well i guess i've got to go now then," i smile, standing up, fiddling with my fingers. how the fuck do i say goodbye properly?
he stands up to face me and takes a step towards me.
"it was nice to speak to you you know," he says and i nod in agreement. it was.
his hand reached up to my face and he cupped my chin, one thumb on my cheek slowly starting to caress it gently. he leaned in and kissed me and i melted into it instantly, but just as soon as it started it finished. my legs felt like jelly as he said goodbye and went to sit down on the bench again and left me to walk away.
"are you not going to go home as well?" i asked politely, something didn't feel right about leaving him on a park bench in the dark. he shook his head insistently.
"you go jude. i'll be fine," he looks up at me for a second, his eyes burning into me, before looking down again and putting his earphones in. i guess that was that. i called my dog and he runs after me as i walk out of the park. i look back at him before i properly left but he wasn't looking, he was staring into the fields completely lost in thought.
***
bit of a short chapter lol tell me what you all thinkkk <3
