Carlton ✔

43| The Uncertain Decision

Shit.

I had promised myself I wouldn't go there. Because she was still in love with Raymond, right? Right?

But I couldn't convince my enthusiastic heart to settle down, as I watched my thumb trace her jawline. I was so lost in the moment that I didn't notice her clasp her fingers around my hand. She lifted my hand gently to her mouth and kissed in the center of my palm.

That was all it took for my feelings to come flooding back.

She looked back at me with fire in her eyes, biting her lower lip. I gulped, straightening my back, endeavouring my best not to let conscience slip.

But that was the thing about my conscience, it always slipped around her.

She moved closer to me, placing her hands flat on my chest and pushing me back towards the wall. I watched her thrillfully as crawled on top of me, placing both her legs on my either side. Both her hands grabbed my face with need. And warning bells went off in the back of my head. "Bree we should-"

"Shut up." Her mouth came down on me, her hands stubbornly pulling my face closer than it already was.

Her lips were...oh so soft. I don't know why but the warning bells stopped ringing. I moaned, every part of my body bursting into flames, screaming for her with need. Our mouths glided on eachother, my fingernails digging into the fabric of the cloth at her waist.

Why were we doing this all of a sudden? It didn't make any sense. I thought she had softened up to Raymond, but apparantly not?

It had been so long since I had kissed her. My breathing was out of control, while I constantly refrained my hands from tearing her clothes apart.

It felt wrong, but God it felt so right at the same time.

She pulled away for a moment and panted. "You drive me so fucking crazy, Carlton." And instantly, her mouth was back on mine again, this time more demanding.

Why? No. This is wrong. She had no idea what I was about to do. I was literally walking into my grave that night on the assumption that Breanna didn't want me.

Oh but she does — my heart mocked me — you disrespectful asshole, this is what you always do to the women who get close to you.

My hands snaked down her back to her waist, my fingers slipping into her loose white shirt. Her skin felt soft and warm against my rough hands as my fingers made their way to the hook of her bra.

But my heart was breaking into pieces. She did not deserve this.

My lips took control of the kiss, trailing it down from her jaw, down her neck, to between her breasts. I watched with pain in my heart as her head fell back with pleasure.

No.

Stop it.

My hands fell before I could unbuckle her bra, my lips resting still on the skin above her breasts. My body had seized completely, but I didn't let go of her. I held her in my arms, memorizing the sizzle I felt from the closeness.

I might never get to feel it again.

She sensed it but gave me a moment to rest nonetheless. Her chest rose and fell quickly, her fingers sifting through my hair. I felt her place her chin on the top of my head, her grip tightening on my face.

"Carlton...?"

I looked up at her, sweat beading my forehead. She looked back with genuine distress glimmering in her blue eyes. It was impossible, I didn't know what to say to her, so I wrapped my arms around her again, helping her stand up with me.