adore you // [h.s]

25

I looked down at my phone to see if Harry had messaged me any, but he hadn't. I frowned, but I knew he was busy.

I felt my head come into contact with a solid surface, shit. At this point, I was praying it wasn't a wall. Bumping into a person is way less embarrassing than ramming into a wall.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

I was immediately paralyzed by that voice. Tyler. His voice would forever be burned into my memory, "Are you alright?" He asked as he placed both hands on my shoulders.

"I-I'm okay," I said as I looked into his deep brown eyes. "I'm sorry." I apologized before my eyes darted to one of the stores.

"Holy hell, Audrey?" dammit. I nodded as I squirmed out of his grip. "I haven't seen you in years."

not since that night at your house.

"It's been a while." I could feel myself shaking.

I tried my best to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks, he can't know that he broke me. He can't know that he left in me that no one could ever fill.

"You look great." He pushed a piece of hair off my shoulder, "I see you grew your hair out." he hated my long hair. "It looks really good." He said through his teeth. I stayed quiet as I looked around for Hudson, "I see you still can't take a compliment." He started to get angry with me, I could see it in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." I apologized immediately, "Thank you." He smiled at me.

"You ready, babe?" A girl snaked herself around his torso. She was pretty. She had short brunette hair, hazel eyes. I could see so much of myself in her.

"Bye Audrey." I nodded to him before I rushed off. My eyes continued to look over the crowd for Hudson.

I saw him walking out of a shop,  "Hudson!" I yelled before I ran over to him. "We have to leave."

"Is everything okay, miss?"

"I feel very sick." I lied. I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. I wanted to be at home in my bed, I wanted to be alone. "Can we please go?" He nodded. He motioned for me to follow him.

"I'll call Mr. Styles."

"No!" I snapped immediately, "He's working, I'll be okay." He didn't argue with me. "Please don't tell him about this," I begged.

I had a stream of tears rolling down my face as we walked to the car. I couldn't help but feel the exact same way I did whenever he held me down. I felt powerless like he sucked the life right out of my body.

**

Hours passed and I hadn't moved from my bed. It felt physically impossible. The weights chained to my body were heavier than usual. I knew that I needed to be stronger and carry them but my body was far too weak.

"Audrey?" I heard the front door open then close. "Hey, love!" Harry's thick, raspy accent always managed to make my heart flutter. I smiled in his direction. "I got home and realized you weren't there, so I figured I would come check on you." He notified me while he crawled into my bed.

you're suffocating me. I feel like the world is too small.

"I-I'm okay." I pulled myself away from him so I could try and breathe. "I want to be alone," I said in a soft tone.

I refused to make eye contact with him. I knew that if my eyes met his then I would break. I couldn't let him know what was going on with me, I couldn't let anyone know.

He stared at me for a moment longer before he pulled himself off the bed, "Hold on." Harry disappeared into the bathroom then I heard the bathwater start.

I can't get up styles.

"Harry, go home," I said loud enough for him to hear me. He narrowed his eyes at me before he lit the candle.

I felt bad for treating him this way, but I needed to be alone. I needed to deal with this on my own.

"Come with me." He walked over to my side of the bed. Slowly, he pulled the covers off my body. I groaned as he helped me off the bed. He made sure he was extra gentle with me like I was made of glass.

He walked me to the bathroom and sat me down, "Get undressed and get in." He ordered before he walked out into the hallway. I appreciated Harry for honoring my privacy, he was always very respectful.

I slowly pulled everything off of me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I could still feel the bruises on my wrists and my neck. I could still feel him holding my shoulders down while his lips burned kisses into my skin. I could feel him, preying on my body. He was determined to make me hate myself.

you're a survivor.

I hurried into the water, it was the perfect temperature. I admired the fact that he even took the time to put bubbles in, "Come in." I closed the curtain enough to where he could only see my face.

"Are you sure?" He barely cracked the door.

"Please," I begged softly, I kept my eyes on the door. Harry hesitantly walked in with a soft, caring smile glued to his face. I admired his dimples, his green eyes, and his cheeky grin.

"I'm proud of you." He admitted as he sat down on the footstool which was in front of the sink. I narrowed my eyes at him, confused as to why anyone would ever be proud of me.  "You're still alive. You're breathing. You're here. You got out of bed today. It's the small victories." I cracked a smile as I stared into the bathwater.

"That was very sweet," I said as I fought back the tear stinging my eyes.

"I don't struggle with everything that you do, but I know when you're struggling." He frowned. "I can see the weight that you carry on your shoulders. I hate seeing you like this and knowing that I can't take it from you." His voice was shaky, " You know, my life has been so much easier since you walked into it." He let out a deep sigh as he wiped his face, "It's hard living your life in the public eye. I feel like I have to be picture perfect 24/7. I don't feel that way whenever I'm with you. You make it all go away." He admitted, honestly. I held my hand out for him to hold. He brought my palm to his lips, leaving gentle kisses.

I had tears rolling down my cheeks, "Thank you for being here, for seeing me." He nodded as he fought back tears. "You are my sunshine." He chuckled softly while a few tears rolled down his cheeks.

"My only sunshine." He whispered back before he kissed the palm of my hand again. He pulled himself off the footstool, "I put a towel in the dryer for you, I'll be right back." He disappeared out of my bathroom.

"Audrey!" My mom's voice filled the house, "Harry!" She yelled. "I have food!"

"I am getting Audrey a warm towel." I heard Harry say as he made his way down the hallway. "She's taking a bath right now."

"She got out of bed?" My mom sounded so shocked.

"I really didn't give her an option." She half laughed. "I practically had to walk her the entire way there, but she did it." I could hear how proud Harry sounded.

"I'm so glad you're in her life." I could hear the pureness in my mother's voice. Harry was good for me and I was good for him.

"I'm glad she's in mine." Harry paused for a moment as the silence started to sink in,  "I'm gonna get this warm towel to her." She hummed.

I could hear his footsteps drawing closer. I wanted to dunk my head underwater and disappear for a moment, but I knew that I couldn't.

"Here's this," Harry announced while he laid the towel close to the tub, avoiding seeing my body, "I will lay out a pair of leggings and a shirt, does that sound good?" I hummed. "I'll wait while you get dressed." I hummed once again.