The Roommate Therapy ✓

20 • Atychiphobia

Even then he managed to look adorable.

Stop gawking, you bozo! Now is not the time.

"Being a scientist, a renowned one at that, he could not let his son become a hapless pauper before his eyes. He gave me an ultimatum- either take up a fucking science subject or leave the house and pursue my dreams."

A young boy, about our age, placed our plates before us, "Two mixed vegetable kaati rolls."

I nodded and dismissed him.

I unwrapped one of the rolls and handed it to Vinay before devouring mine.

"What did you do then?" I asked softly.

Vinay shrugged dismally, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed, "As you said last night, I'm a spineless coward, a total fuck-up. I took up engineering because it sounded like the easier course compared to medicine and pure science."

I pulled my mouth into a thin line.

"You are not a spineless coward," I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "You and I both know that I said it out of spite yesterday. I did not mean it. You may have made a decision against your wishes, but I don't think that makes you a coward. I think it shows how strong you are and how much you love your family."

"I don't even know what to think now. I'm so fucked up that I can't have a civil conversation with my father anymore." Vinay shrugged my hand off his shoulder.

"You're just hurt." I replied quietly.

"Am I now, Akira?" he laughed humorlessly, "Because I'm literally just wasting away my life from how I see it. I've taken engineering but I'm not studying. I'm basically just doing all the things that will make my father hate me more. I'm so fucked up."

I swallowed.

Vinay was trying to prove to himself that he was nothing like his father. The endless fights and drinking and hooking up with random girls was just an illusion that he had created for himself. He'd been playing that role for so long that he'd started believing that it was who he was.

"Maybe you can still redeem your life. It's not too late." I suggested.

"I think it is. Even if I wanted to I don't think I can write as well as I used to now. I've lost my flair." Vinay shook his head, a deep etched frown settling on his face.

I sucked my lips into my mouth and exhaled.

Vinay had enormous potential from what I could make out of the poem I'd read. He was just drowning in self pity and was oblivious to how pessimistic his outlook had become.

What he needed a whack on his head and someone to open his eyes.

I now understood the significance of the quote painted on his bedroom wall.

Life or Livelihood?

This was an endless conflict and internal turmoil that Vinay was battling. I couldn't even bring myself to imagine how awful it must be to have to do something you dislike and also pretend to be okay with it. Vinay was a lot stronger than he knew.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you could pursue literature and writing simultaneously with engineering?" I turned to face him.

"What's the fucking point?" Vinay huffed.

I rolled my eyes at his dismal response.

"Don't you see that you are being the greatest barrier in finding your happiness?" I started.

Vinay sat up a little straighter and turned to me with narrowed eyes.

"I read your poem that day and it was beautiful. You need to showcase your work rather than hiding it like it's a weakness, something you should be ashamed of." I said, carefully studying his face, "College will be over in another couple of years. What will you do after that? You can't really believe that this is the end of your life just because your father made one wrong decision. And if you do, you're just being ludicrous."

"It's easy for you to say." Vinay snarled, "You have no idea how it feels to be caged. And don't you dare fucking patronize me, Akira, because you know nothing about me."

I was taken aback by his sudden outburst.

I remained silent for sometime as Vinay calmed down.

"We should go home. It's getting late." I said, glancing at my watch briefly.

We paid for our food and headed towards Vinay's bike that was parked a little distance away. The ride home was short and quiet for most part.

When we got home, Vinay dragged himself to his room and shut himself inside. I went into mine and cleaned up.

When I opened my bedroom door, I found a post-it stuck to the front.

I watch from afar as you burn through countless days

Praying that the flare goes down as fast as it came

Forgive me for selfishly running away

Coz' I needed the distance to remain sane

But I promise to return if you still want me when I'm stronger

I'm a coward I know

And acceptance doesn't make my decision any easier

Just try to hold on a little longer

For as the night fades away into dawn

I'll emerge more alive than ever

Then I shall douse your rage with my resolve

And make our essence immortal forevermore

P.S: I wrote this on one of the days that I was gone. I thought you might want to read it. Please don't say anything when you see me after reading this. Good night...

My gaze lifted to his closed door and my eyes teared up.

Oh Vinay!

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Whoah, so updated much earlier than I said I would.

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