The Elites

(50) vérité

I didn't really know how to feel when I checked into the hotel, the hotel where everyone is staying at, the same one where... I'm confused.

I didn't really know how to feel when I caught a quick glimpse of a tabloid, displaying one certain heiress hugging one certain ex-boyfriend outside a coffee shop located in the East Village. I'm not jealous.

I didn't really know how to feel when I walked into the venue for the Dior show, the cocktail of feelings brewing inside of me as I searched for my friends. I stuffed my hands into the pocket of my long tan coat, trying to spot Nico. Though as soon as I found him, my radar began to go off due to a familiar blue eyed blonde sitting in one of the seats, looking a little nervous. But as the show began, I noticed that he had disappeared, so did Kota, so did Luca, so did Sarah, and so did Nico. Letting curiosity get the best of me, I followed after them, ducking down slightly so I wouldn't obstruct the view with my height.

And I certainly didn't know how to feel when I saw Blake Graham sitting in the corner of the backstage with her arms wrapped around herself hyperventilating. It was as if something inside of me was stirred awake, watching her struggle to breathe and focus.

As soon as Luca had noticed me, he easily traded spots, going to stand as I crouched in front of Blake. The rest was almost a blur, when I had finally managed to calm her down- she had hugged me and I felt everything melt away. All I could feel was the love I felt for her and the guilt clawing from my insides. I wanted to say something so she could know my feelings about our fight. But before I could even say anything, a team of stylists had surrounded her.

The group of us returned back to our seats, continuing on with the show. It was odd, sitting next to the blonde boy I was once teammates with. I haven't talked to him since the seventh grade and a lot had changed, but one thing of his had stayed constant through the years. He was still tremendously kind, I could easily tell from his conversation with Sarah who had been trying her best to intimidate him and how he was actually watching the show with interest. I wanted to say something, I just didn't know what.

"Hey," I began, unsure of how to talk to my girlfriend's ex.

"Hey Clark, sorry I didn't get the chance to say hi earlier. I wanted to, it's just that Dakota had called me over to see if I could help. I hope I didn't intrude or anything?"

He's so fucking polite. No wonder she was in love with him, he's perfect for her. He's the opposite of... me. He's warm and open while I'm usually cold and reserved. His hair's golden while mine's dark. He's kind whilst I'm sarcastic. He's defense and I'm offense. He's American and I'm English. It's like light versus dark, and I feel inferior sitting next to Parker. He had so much with Blake while I've just had years of hatred and just a few months without any arguments.

But what about the argument from earlier? The fight? After having these days to mull over everything, I've finally come to a final thought- but I need to actually get to talk to Blake. But she's about to walk. 

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, meeting Parker's dark blue eyes. "You're good, I just wanted to say... thank you. For being there for her back then and today- and for being such a good person."

He seemed slightly taken aback by my words. "Oh wow, thank you! Of course! Lise will always be my friend no matter what!"

Lise.

The nickname that only he called her. I shouldn't be feeling jealous, but I did. I wasn't envious of their relationship, I was envious that the two of them were in a good place while we weren't.

It's both our faults. Mainly yours, liar. Her decision to graduate is nothing compared to you.

As the show continued on, I found myself getting distracted with my own thoughts instead of focusing. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I quickly withdrew it and glanced at the text before hurriedly typing a response to them. I turned around in my seat and tried to spot who texted me, after briefly meeting their eyes, I turned back in my seat with a small grin.