Swapping Spit (Nouis) [under editing]

Chp 5-One Awkward Dinner

A strong craving floods over me and I move to return the kiss, but he breaks away.

Reality hits me like a flying bullet and I quickly take a step back. Niall's face is deeply blushing and he looks as shocked as I feel.

I'm left standing awkwardly in front of him and I nervously stutter, "I-I'm going to dinner," before putting the aloe back and fastly retreating out.

Niall soon joins us for dinner, eating excess amounts of his usual excessive amount of food probably because he's nervous.

I can't focus on the conversation begin held during dinner, as what happened in the bathroom replays over and over again in my mind. I feel sick to my stomach and politely excuse myself from the table without eating much dinner.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks.

"I don't feel well. I'm going to lie down for a bit," I say.

"Feel better."

"Thanks, Li," I flash him a smile, avoiding eye contact with Niall, before heading up to my bedroom and falling asleep.

***

The whole night, I toss and turn and can't sleep well. The incident that happened in the bathroom replays in my dreams, waking me up every time I finally drift to sleep.

I'm so confused. Niall definately went to kiss me first but the thing that's been bothering me is what I didn't feel. It didn't feel wrong, the thought of kissing Niall. I know it should seem wrong, disgusting, bad.

But I leaned in to kiss him back. And I wanted it. So bad. It was like a craving flooded my brain, and all the common sense I had vanished.

But after we almost kissed, I mean our lips brushed against each other, he pulled away. The look on his face looked as if he just realized what we almost did. He looked scared as heck. Just as scared as I felt.

I ran out of there like there was no tomorrow, and from then on things have been super awkward. All the thinking and confusion was wearing on me, but I couldn't fall asleep the whole night.

I glance at my watch and it reads 8:30 in the morning. Well, it was no use trying to fall asleep anymore, so I roll out of bed and head downstairs, passing by the mirror on my way. My reflection almost scared me. I looked like a zombie, dark rims under my bloodshot eyes, messy hair sticking up every which way, pale, exhausted skin. I look a mess but anyways, I trudge down the stairs, definately not ready to face the day.

Downstairs, I find Zayn on his laptop on the couch, Liam cooking breakfast with Niall eagerly waiting in a barstool, and Harry practicing strumming certain chords on the guitar.

As I walk into the living room, Liam looks at me concerned.

"Lou, you look awful."

"Thanks," I chuckle.

"Are you alright?" he asks, serving Niall a stack of pancakes.

"Yeah."

"Louis, what's wrong?" he presses.

"I didn't sleep well last night," I say, getting annoyed. I didn't want to talk about it.

"Was it because you weren't feeling well?"

"Sure, can we just not talk about it?" I say, my voice sounding on edge and snippy.

Liam looks taken aback.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that."

"No, it's fine. I'll drop it. We can talk when you feel like acting more mature," Liam snaps.

His words hit me like a punch in the face. I just completely acted like a jerk towards Liam, who was only trying to be nice and caring. I sulk away to the couch, sitting by Zayn. Zayn gives me a look of apprehension, like he was going to ask if I was alright but didn't.

Niall finishes his pancakes and announces that he's heading up to take a shower. I decide to follow him upstairs. I need to talk to Niall. I have to figure out what yesterday meant. If it meant anything at all.

I knock on his door.

"Niall," I say.

He opens the door, a blank expression on his face.

I walk in and stand awkwardly, twiddling my thumbs.

"So..." I begin. "About yesterday..."

Niall butts in, "It didn't mean anything. I was tired and your massage felt good and I wasn't thinking..."

"It meant nothing," I repeat.

"Nothing at all," his eyes flicker to mine and back down to the floor.

"Ok, y-yeah. That's how I felt, too. Like why would I want to kiss you? That's gross. We're two guys, we're just friends," I choke out.

I swear I see his face drop.

"Yeah," he breathes and runs a hand through his hair.

"So are we good?" I ask.

"Yeah. We're good."

"We're good," I repeat as I feel a heavy weight in my chest.

We stand there for a couple moments before Niall says, "You look exhausted."

"I am."

"Why don't you go lie down?" he suggests. "We're not doing anything today anyways." He places a hand on my shoulder.

I nod, "Ok, good idea. See ya, Ni."

"Bye," he says quietly before I turn and head into my bedroom. It meant nothing at all. It meant nothing at all. I keep repeating to myself, convincing myself to be relieved and forget about it. But why does it hurt so bad?

~~~~~

Author's note

Well...first real bit of Nouis, which doesn't end well! :,( it makes me want to cryyyy! Haha anyways, bext update may be in a while just heads up but until then comment vote read...and LWWY!